A Look Into The Future
George W. Bush: Goofed at his inauguration by saying, "I'm tired of people
treating the presidency like it's some kind of federal job." Created
international incident when he called the Chinese prime minister Hop Sing.
Defeated in 2004 by Democrat Warren Beatty.
Al Gore: Never did concede election. Went into seclusion in Tennessee,
where he attempted to file patents on ATMs, Barbie and instant oatmeal.
Wife Tipper eventually had him committed to a sanitarium. He spent final
years ordering nurses at Pleasant Days Ahead to bomb Yugoslavia.
Joe Lieberman: Went back to U.S. Senate and continued campaign against
Hollywood smut. Resigned after photos surfaced on the Internet depicting
him in compromising positions with Dr. Laura.
Dick Cheney: Scared children at the 2001 White House Christmas party with
his dark portrayal of Santa Claus. Wanted to declare war on Iraq again but
nobody would let him. Grabbed his chest and keeled over when his daughter
showed up at White House dinner with Ellen DeGeneres. President George W.
Bush raised eyebrows at the funeral when he said, "It wasn't a heart
attack, and I fully expect Dick to resume his duties as Vice President
later this week."
Warren Christopher: Distinguished life and career came to an untimely end
when he fell asleep in a subway station. Mistaken for dead, he was
cremated. Al Gore raised eyebrows at the funeral when he referred to
Christopher as "my Secretary of State" and credited him with inventing the
United Nations. After delivering the eulogy, Gore stunned observers by
grabbing wife Tipper for an open-mouth kiss.
James A. Baker III: As a reward for his loyalty, Baker was allowed to
secretly run the country during the term of George W. Bush, a job he also
held during the Reagan administration. After leaving politics, Baker
became the new voice for Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons."
Jeb Bush: Bush loses his reelection bid to Green Party candidate Fidel
Castro, blaming the defeat on a butterfly ballot used in Miami-Dade. Later
was appointed U.S. attorney general by his big brother. Other department
heads ruffled his hair and called him Bobby at Cabinet meetings.
Bill Clinton: Compromise proposal to remain president the rest of his life
rejected. Allegedly pinched Laura Bush at inauguration. Divorced by wife
Hillary. Spent final years as a broken man, running Po Boy Billy's BBQ
stand in Arkansas.
Katherine Harris: Became a partner with Tammy Faye in developing line of
beauty-care products called Sensuous Republican. Nominated as best
supporting actress for her portrayal of the Borg Queen. Achieved lifelong
ambition in 2028 when President Tom Feeney appointed her as ambassador to
Chad.
Chief Justice Charles Wells: Florida Supreme Court jurist left bench to
star in WB courtroom show: "Judge Chuck!" Issued landmark ruling in 2005
that said a wife who has a sex-change operation and sleeps with her
husband's sister is not entitled to alimony. Ruling was overturned by U.S.
Supreme Court.
George W. Bush: Goofed at his inauguration by saying, "I'm tired of people
treating the presidency like it's some kind of federal job." Created
international incident when he called the Chinese prime minister Hop Sing.
Defeated in 2004 by Democrat Warren Beatty.
Al Gore: Never did concede election. Went into seclusion in Tennessee,
where he attempted to file patents on ATMs, Barbie and instant oatmeal.
Wife Tipper eventually had him committed to a sanitarium. He spent final
years ordering nurses at Pleasant Days Ahead to bomb Yugoslavia.
Joe Lieberman: Went back to U.S. Senate and continued campaign against
Hollywood smut. Resigned after photos surfaced on the Internet depicting
him in compromising positions with Dr. Laura.
Dick Cheney: Scared children at the 2001 White House Christmas party with
his dark portrayal of Santa Claus. Wanted to declare war on Iraq again but
nobody would let him. Grabbed his chest and keeled over when his daughter
showed up at White House dinner with Ellen DeGeneres. President George W.
Bush raised eyebrows at the funeral when he said, "It wasn't a heart
attack, and I fully expect Dick to resume his duties as Vice President
later this week."
Warren Christopher: Distinguished life and career came to an untimely end
when he fell asleep in a subway station. Mistaken for dead, he was
cremated. Al Gore raised eyebrows at the funeral when he referred to
Christopher as "my Secretary of State" and credited him with inventing the
United Nations. After delivering the eulogy, Gore stunned observers by
grabbing wife Tipper for an open-mouth kiss.
James A. Baker III: As a reward for his loyalty, Baker was allowed to
secretly run the country during the term of George W. Bush, a job he also
held during the Reagan administration. After leaving politics, Baker
became the new voice for Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons."
Jeb Bush: Bush loses his reelection bid to Green Party candidate Fidel
Castro, blaming the defeat on a butterfly ballot used in Miami-Dade. Later
was appointed U.S. attorney general by his big brother. Other department
heads ruffled his hair and called him Bobby at Cabinet meetings.
Bill Clinton: Compromise proposal to remain president the rest of his life
rejected. Allegedly pinched Laura Bush at inauguration. Divorced by wife
Hillary. Spent final years as a broken man, running Po Boy Billy's BBQ
stand in Arkansas.
Katherine Harris: Became a partner with Tammy Faye in developing line of
beauty-care products called Sensuous Republican. Nominated as best
supporting actress for her portrayal of the Borg Queen. Achieved lifelong
ambition in 2028 when President Tom Feeney appointed her as ambassador to
Chad.
Chief Justice Charles Wells: Florida Supreme Court jurist left bench to
star in WB courtroom show: "Judge Chuck!" Issued landmark ruling in 2005
that said a wife who has a sex-change operation and sleeps with her
husband's sister is not entitled to alimony. Ruling was overturned by U.S.
Supreme Court.
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