• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

A little joke

Mnementh

Golden Member
This is a story about a couple who have been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband?s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn?t stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and quietly pulling the bed covers back, she gently pulled the elastic of the waistband of his underpants and emptied the entire contents of the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom, the wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, ?Honey, you were right.? ?All these years you have warned me and I didn?t listen to you.?
What do you mean? Asked his wife.
?Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god and some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.?
 
R

Brutuskend put it up years ago...watch out, he's going to send his crack squad of joke-hitmen after you. :shocked:
 
Originally posted by: Ikonomi
Originally posted by: neutralizer
How does it all fit?

The human intestines are long enough fully unraveled to circle the globe three times!!!1!1
So close! 😉

The small intestine is a long, narrow, coiled tube extending from the stomach to the large intestine. This is the place where most digestion and absorption of food takes place. The small intestine of a human can be as long as six to eight meters long, depending on age and size of being. So much length can be compacted into so little space because of the nature of the small intestine; it is coiled and takes up less space, while maintaining it's enormous surface area.

The large intestine is the posterior or end of the human intestine that consists of four regions the, the cecum, the colon, the rectum and the anal canal. The large intestine is wider but shorter than the small intestine. It measures approximately 1.5 meters in length and its primary function is to absorb water and electrolytes that have already passed unabsorbed through the small intestine.

In mathematics, as well as physics, the value of the whole is equal to the sum of its parts. Therefore the average length of the human intestine is equal to the length of the small intestine added to the length of the large intestine. As a result the average length of the human intestine can be anywhere from 6 to 8.5 meters in length depending on size and age of the person it occupies.
 
Back
Top