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A list of Oxymorons (Stolen by Brutuskend)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
31,299
12,818
136
:confused:

#8 is the lamest of all.

Of course tug boats tug. They push and tug barges and ships. Duh.
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
31,299
12,818
136
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)
Something you would find in spam emails?
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)
Here are some oxymorons:

Government Organization
Alone Together
Personal Computer
Silent Scream
Living Dead
Same Difference
Taped Live
Plastic Glasses
Tight Slacks
Peace Force
Pretty Ugly
Head Butt
Working Vacation
Tax Return
Virtual Reality
Dodge Ram
Work Party
Jumbo Shrimp
Healthy Tan
Microsoft Works
 

cronos

Diamond Member
Nov 7, 2001
9,380
26
101
lol. they are not exactly oxymorons, but some of them are funny :)

i particularly like #3, it's thought provoking! :confused:

i read something similar to #24 in dilbert once i think.
 

cronos

Diamond Member
Nov 7, 2001
9,380
26
101
Originally posted by: Mwilding
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)
Here are some oxymorons:

Government Organization
Alone Together
Personal Computer
Silent Scream
Living Dead
Same Difference
Taped Live
Plastic Glasses
Tight Slacks
Peace Force
Pretty Ugly
Head Butt
Working Vacation
Tax Return
Virtual Reality
Dodge Ram
Work Party
Jumbo Shrimp
Healthy Tan
Microsoft Works

and, of course, DeafeningSilence.
 

Iron Woode

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 10, 1999
31,299
12,818
136
Originally posted by: saxguy
Originally posted by: Mwilding
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)
Here are some oxymorons:

Government Organization
Alone Together
Personal Computer
Silent Scream
Living Dead
Same Difference
Taped Live
Plastic Glasses
Tight Slacks
Peace Force
Pretty Ugly
Head Butt
Working Vacation
Tax Return
Virtual Reality
Dodge Ram
Work Party
Jumbo Shrimp
Healthy Tan
Microsoft Works

and, of course, DeafeningSilence.
Military Intelligence
 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Originally posted by: Mwilding
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)
Here are some oxymorons:

Government Organization
Alone Together
Personal Computer
Silent Scream
Living Dead
Same Difference
Taped Live
Plastic Glasses
Tight Slacks
Peace Force
Pretty Ugly
Head Butt
Working Vacation
Tax Return
Virtual Reality
Dodge Ram
Work Party
Jumbo Shrimp
Healthy Tan
Microsoft Works

Yeah yeah, I know they arn't oxymorons.

Interesting weirdness maybe?
 

ZOXXO

Golden Member
Feb 1, 2003
1,281
0
76
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Originally posted by: Mwilding
you sure these are oxymorons, Alanis?

Well, not really but I couldn't think of what else to call them.

Enlighten me! ;)

Idiosyncratic terminology?
:confused:
 

Red Dawn

Elite Member
Jun 4, 2001
57,529
3
0
Those jokes sound like they come straight from Stephen Wrights Comedy Routine.
 

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
Originally posted by: Manzelle
28. Why does Brutuskend call most of his threads jokes when they are not funny?

One thing I've learned in life,"You can please some of the people all of the time and you can please all of the people some of the time, but EAT ME!!!" :p