A Joke Thread

[Chu]

Post the wrongest joke you know that you think won't get this thread locked. I'll start.

Q: What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

A: Full.

 

[Brutuskend]

Don't get me started DUDE. 😉

 

[MrAwesome]

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?




A: Nothing.......it just waved!


Mwahahahahahahaha! Swish, and it counts!!!!

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Pex
Ugly
WTF?


An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno...Never found the head

 

[Turin39789]

What's so great about 29 year old?

There are 20 of em

 

[Mo0o]

What do priests and sardines have in common

They all come in small cans.

 

[Calin]

Two bats, hanging with their heads down, talk to each other:
"What was the worst day of your life?"
"The day when I had diarrhoea"

Calin

 

[hjo3]

Why did Popeye beat up the priest?
He went to mount Olive.

 

[godfire]

the ugly joke is awesome

 

[Gurck]

A guy meets a really cute chick at a bar and they get talking over a few drinks, and eventually go back to her place. After a few more drinks she gets up to change into something more comfortable and, before disappearing into a bedroom, she winks and says that she's into really kinky sex. He says that's great, he is too. Fifteen minutes pass and she returns in full dominatrix gear; head-to-toe black leather with metal spikes, 5" black heels, a spiked leather skullcap to top it all off, and brandishing a wicked-looking leather whip. "Ready?" she asks. "Gimme 10 minutes", he says, "I just screwed your cat".

 

[ZoNtO]

Well I heard this one at work to day, but it requires an action to get the full effect:

Q: What has two thumbs and likes blow jobs?

A: /me points thumbs towards self

"Me!"

😉 *tee hee!

 

[OCNewbie]

Originally posted by: Gurck
A guy meets a really cute chick at a bar and they get talking over a few drinks, and eventually go back to her place. After a few more drinks she gets up to change into something more comfortable and, before disappearing into a bedroom, she winks and says that she's into really kinky sex. He says that's great, he is too. Fifteen minutes pass and she returns in full dominatrix gear; head-to-toe black leather with metal spikes, 5" black heels, a spiked leather skullcap to top it all off, and brandishing a wicked-looking leather whip. "Ready?" she asks. "Gimme 10 minutes", he says, "I just screwed your cat".

good one