A great joke for Y'all!! :)

alembic5

Golden Member
Nov 22, 2002
1,004
1
81
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. In desperation, he threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued...................


"May I ask what the chicken did?"

 

dtmbb92

Senior member
May 4, 2003
297
0
0
Originally posted by: alembic5
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. In desperation, he threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued...................


"May I ask what the chicken did?"

rolleye.gif
BOOOOOOOOO
 

friedpie

Senior member
Oct 1, 2002
703
0
0
I like one liners better.

For instance, why do blondes stick their heads out of the car when going down the highway? To fill up!

 

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
Okay, here's yet another little johnny joke...

Little Johnny is in class and his teacher is doing a class activity where she picks a letter of the alphabet and a student and the student has to come up with a word beginning with that letter and then use that word in a sentence.

Teacher: Okay class, the first letter is s.

Hands go up, and sure enough, there's Little Johnny's hand waving around. Now, the teacher can think of a few bad words that begin with s so she doesn't pick Little Johnny.

Teacher: Okay Beth, you can go.

Beth: Sandwich. Today for lunch I had a sandwich.

Teacher: Very good Beth. Okay class, the next letter is c.

Again, hands go up, and again, there's Little Johnny's hand. He's gotten a bit more anxious and is waving his hand back and forth erratically. But again, the teacher can think of a few bad words that start with c so she picks someone else again.

Teacher: Okay Geoff, you can go.

Geoff: Cat. After school I'm going to play with my cat.

Teacher: Very good Geoff. Okay, the next letter is r.

Again, hands go up, and Little Johnny's hand is waving frantically. He's even calling out "pick me! pick me!" now. The teacher thinks for a second and can't really come up with any bad words that begin with r...

Teacher: Alright Johnny, you can go.

Johnny: Rats. Rats with huge fvcking c0cks!!!
 

zippy

Diamond Member
Nov 10, 1999
9,998
1
0
Hah, I liked that. :)

I'm going to tell that one to my grandfather - he's the funniest person I know and all of his humor is clean - it's pretty impressive.