A Grasshopper Joke

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
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A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, "Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?"

The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. Seconds later she comes back with a drink. He downs it quickly and stops shaking. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately. A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying.

"My goodness," the flight attendant says, "I've never seen someone so afraid to fly."
"I'm not afraid of flying," says the man.
"Then what's the matter?
Sobbing loudly he says, "I'm trying to give up drinking."
 

rpc64

Platinum Member
Jan 5, 2002
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LMFAO! I was expecting it to be stupid, but it actually r0x0r3d me
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
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Originally posted by: Grasshopper27
Originally posted by: Evadman
Hope you are not expecting me to argue :p
Watch it buster, or I might just decide to start handing out Grasshopper Hugs again! :D

Then I would have to hurt you. or pay geekbabe to stand in for me. but I do not know if I have enough $ for that. hell, I don't know if the US has enough for that.
 

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Evadman
Then I would have to hurt you.
You and what army?

or pay geekbabe to stand in for me. but I do not know if I have enough $ for that. hell, I don't know if the US has enough for that.
Geekbabe likes my Grasshopper Hugs!!! :D

: ) Hopper
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
30,990
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Originally posted by: Grasshopper27
Originally posted by: Evadman
Then I would have to hurt you.
You and what army?

The canadian one.

or pay geekbabe to stand in for me. but I do not know if I have enough $ for that. hell, I don't know if the US has enough for that.
Geekbabe likes my Grasshopper Hugs!!! :D

She was taking one for the team!



 

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
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Originally posted by: Evadman
Geekbabe likes my Grasshopper Hugs!!! :D
She was taking one for the team!
You're mistaken I'm afraid...

That was just about my Grasshopper Smoochies, not my Grasshopper Hugs! She puts up with my Smoochies, but she likes my Hugs! :D

: ) Hopper
 

Phuz

Diamond Member
Jul 15, 2000
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Originally posted by: Evadman
Originally posted by: Grasshopper27
Originally posted by: Evadman
Hope you are not expecting me to argue :p
Watch it buster, or I might just decide to start handing out Grasshopper Hugs again! :D

Then I would have to hurt you. or pay geekbabe to stand in for me. but I do not know if I have enough $ for that. hell, I don't know if the US has enough for that.

Shouldn't be a problem, since she started workin' the curb shes had to lower her rates. :D
 

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
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Originally posted by: Phuz
Shouldn't be a problem, since she started workin' the curb shes had to lower her rates. :D
*drags Phuz outside and beats him to a pulp with a 2x4 for insulting Geekbabe like that*
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
30,990
5
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Originally posted by: Grasshopper27
Originally posted by: Evadman
Geekbabe likes my Grasshopper Hugs!!! :D
She was taking one for the team!
You're mistaken I'm afraid...

That was just about my Grasshopper Smoochies, not my Grasshopper Hugs! She puts up with my Smoochies, but she likes my Hugs! :D

: ) Hopper

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers Grashopper27 and Geekbabe raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
 

Grasshopper27

Banned
Sep 11, 2002
7,013
1
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Originally posted by: Evadman
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers Grashopper27 and Geekbabe raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Star-crossed lovers? Not that I recall... Wild kinky sex perhaps, but that's a story for another day...

Hopper
 

Evadman

Administrator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Feb 18, 2001
30,990
5
81
Originally posted by: Grasshopper27
Originally posted by: Evadman
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers Grashopper27 and Geekbabe raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
Star-crossed lovers? Not that I recall... Wild kinky sex perhaps, but that's a story for another day...

Hopper

YHPM on pic request