A girl is gonna ask me out tomorrow, I don't know what to say...

[SexEPid]

I found out about a week ago that a girl in our school has found an interest in me.
So, naturally, I started to talk to her and got to know her. Very nice girl. She is a bit of a flirt, but that's okay
The only thing I don't like is that she does some drugs, which I need to talk to her about, I mean, this is an inportant cross-road in my life, and I just need some suggestions, I know the gracious AnandTech family will help me out w/ this one.
Thanks!

Pid, TYRP

 

[Viper GTS]

How's Are you a member of, or in any way affiliated with law enforcement? for starters?

Viper GTS

 

[SexEPid]

Viper GTS: Not that I know of...

Paulson: She is hot, but I don't want a drug abuser as a g/f!

Pid, TYRP

 

[thebestMAX]

<<she does some drugs>>

Just say no!

 

[AngelOfDeath]

Be honest, that's the only way. Think about it. If you don't like what she's doing right now, then how do you think you'll take it later on???. If you don't use honesty, then you'll ruin it at some point for you and her.

AoD

 

[Croton]

if that is a problem, believe me it will be a MUCH biger issue if you 2 start to date.

just say no.

 

[Xede]

Don't go out with her expecting her to change or you to change her. It won't happen. My advice: find a nice drug-free hottie.

 

[Pretender]

How big of a drug user is she? If she's a casual druggie, you can probably get her to quit with a little work, otherwise the chances are she probably won't be able to or want to, in which case I'd suggest either ending it or getting her high then get some free sex (hey, I don't condone using vulnerable people for sex, but I'm not here to judge).

 

[SexEPid]

Thanks, dudes and dudettes!
Your help is greatly appreciated!
If she doesn't like me for saying no, then she can go...you know
IF I say no, I will talk it over w/ her..

Pid, TYRP

 

[piku]

well if you might be able to get her to stop using them. Just work at it together, for instance if she ever gets cravings go out with her and do something fun to keep her mind off it, etc.

if its heavy use your out of luck but if not you may have a slight chance.

 

[IBhacknU]

<< How big of a drug user is she? >>

In my opinion, as hot as she is it's not worth the trouble.

 

[Ultima200]

What do u mean by a drug user? Liek weed and alcohol, or cocoaine?

 

[desy]

If your at a high school level don't worry about it.
These are the years you do your most changing, If you are strong enough that it won't change you, realize this is DATING not marriage or even a relationship.
You shouldn't get serous about finding the one till your at least 25 and mature enough to handle it. I'd throw some statistics at you but suffice it to say she is highly unlikely to be the one and if she can handle the fact you don't, she might not continue cause at that age its 90% a peer pressure deal not cause they are chemically &quot;addicted&quot;

 

[Isla]

If a nice non-drug using guy had taken an interest in me and been my friend when I was in school, I would have dropped my drug-using friends in a heart beat. Then again, I was never too heavily involved in the drug scene... I was only on the fringes.

Your best bet is to be up front about it. Let her know you are interested, but the drug thing stands in your way. She may have some 'friends' she needs to give up, but if she is like me, they were never really her friends to begin with. Your honesty could make all the difference... you may really be helping her this way.

edit: this was high school for me. High school sucked.

 

[extra]

druggies aren't as bad as you think...

 

[The Dancing Peacock]

go out with her. Not a big deal if she drinks or smokes some. You're in h.s., don't take it all so serious. Go out, and if you like her and think you might get serious, then talk to her about it.

Don't buy into the D.A.R.E. mentality. If you drink, and I think I remember you posting a drunk picture of yourself, and she smokes some pot, that's pretty hypocritical. Pot isn't bad just cuz it's illegal. Both mind/mood altering substances that are deemed illegal (at your age) What type of drugs does she do, and how often?


late.

TDP

 

[BA]

Just show her that picture. If she still likes you after seeing you drunk and in a leotard, you're set!

 

[Spoooon]

If she does some drugs, I don't think you're the person to change that. Don't go out with her expecting her to do a complete turn around. You'll end up coming off as self righteous. Tell her up front that the drugs are a problem. Though, depending on the drugs, it may not be as big a deal as you think.

 

[~zonker~]

If you like her, go out with her. Make it clear that you won't be doing drugs with her and expect her to be 'clean' when you are with her.

You might actually motivate her, you never know....

 

[SexEPid]

Dude, I thank you graciously for all you help

But, I mean, I have a great hate for drugs, I feel they ruin lives etc. etc., I have SEEN it happens, and they just disgust me.
Of course, I drink(not much) so I am no better, drugs can pose a problem I tell her that, if she can't give it up(she does is occasionally) I will date her, and yeah, it won't last, but it WILL be a learning experience.
Thanks

Pid, TYRP

 

[The Dancing Peacock]

Pid, how would you feel if the situation were reversed. What if there was this girl that you wanted to ask out, and she didn't approve of your drinking? Is that fair? No. Give the girl a chance. Alcohol has probably ruined just as many, or more lives than drugs have. Keep an open mind, don't let this one thing stand in your way. If it doesn't affect the way she goes about her everyday life then leave it be. You drink, she does drugs, give the girl a break.

If you still don't want to date her, give me her number, I'll wait a couple years till she's legal, and then I'll date her. Stoner's need loving too.


late.

TDP

 

[sweetrobin]

The trick is to be honest about stuff ... tell her how you feel about the issue ... I too have some hang ups about the whole drug thing ... My uncle just about destroyed my family with his habits and left a lasting impression on me as a kid to the point that I would never date anyone doing drugs .. even recreationally. I don't have a problem with people who have used in the past .. just people who are doing so in the present. I had expressed this feeling to a bf at one point and he told me he understood completely ... then later on I found out he had done drugs while we were dating .. needless to say I broke up with him in a flash .. luckily this was just what he needed .. its been almost 3 years and he has stayed clean ever since .. and we are still good friends ... so either way .. you might change this girls life for the better .. why not take a chance .. it couldnt hurt.

 

[Total Refected Power]

Good advice here. However, just be careful not to get drawn into a situtation that makes you comfortable. Its good to raise people up but be careful because some are capable of bringing even the most good-intentioned down.

 

[Spindler]

who cares if she does drugs? just think of it as a fun relationship. yer still in high school and chances are you'll probably never see her again after you guys graduate. i had a tight-knit group of friends in h.s. that i havent seen or heard in 5 years. so just have some fun and go knock some of that poon.

remember, it is your duty to please that booty!

 

[SexEPid]

Interesting point you bring up, Peacock
But, in all reality, if drinking was the only thing standing between us, I would give it up instantly, it took me 15 years to get to the bathing suit stage, and I can wait longer for it to happen again
Oh yes, Spindler, of course it's my duty!

Pid, TYRP