- Dec 20, 2000
- 6,457
- 6
- 81
from me mum...
The owner of a golf course in West Virginia was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from West Virginia
University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those West Virginia women
=====
WEST VIRGINIA Mountaineers
A group of W.Va. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried
the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!
=====
Regarding the year 2003, a senior at W.V.U. was overheard saying ... "when
the end of the world comes, I hope to be in West Virginia." When asked why,
he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the
civilized world.
=====
The young Mountaineer came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young Mountaineer answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."
=====
A West Virginia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-79. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But
on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker
standing on the same street corner,
day after day. with some apprehension he would brace himself as he
approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.
"No. Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run
by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her
husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic
street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder
what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he
should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner,
Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the
hooker. Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for
five bucks?"
The owner of a golf course in West Virginia was confused about paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from West Virginia
University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those West Virginia women
=====
WEST VIRGINIA Mountaineers
A group of W.Va. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried
the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!
=====
Regarding the year 2003, a senior at W.V.U. was overheard saying ... "when
the end of the world comes, I hope to be in West Virginia." When asked why,
he stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the
civilized world.
=====
The young Mountaineer came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young Mountaineer answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."
=====
A West Virginia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-79. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?
Bill Clinton started jogging near his new home in Chappaqua. But
on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker
standing on the same street corner,
day after day. with some apprehension he would brace himself as he
approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.
"No. Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days. He'd run
by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!" And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her
husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the problematic
street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder
what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he
should have a darn good explanation for the junior Senator.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner,
Bill became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the
hooker. Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for
five bucks?"
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