The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town in Ireland.
One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of
his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy.
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the
woman. "Miss Fitzgerald", he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of
my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back
and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and
grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of
Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oi mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said,
"But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."
The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in, you
might as well finish."
A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be
waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says, "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
"Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool
table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ***?"
"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."
One for the Ladies............
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious
to his wife that he was keying in...
P....
E....
N...
I....
S..
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***
One day he was walking down the high street when he noticed a young lady of
his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn't happy.
He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the
woman. "Miss Fitzgerald", he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of
my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure", she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Miss Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back
and forth. The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and
grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of
Miss Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oi mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub."
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said,
"But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fluff."
The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in, you
might as well finish."
A guy is in line at the supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be
waving to him, and although familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he
says, "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children."
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
"Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool
table in front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ***?"
"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher."
One for the Ladies............
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password. Something he will use to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would
try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when
the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious
to his wife that he was keying in...
P....
E....
N...
I....
S..
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ***
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