A Catholic priest goes to heaven...

[Kadarin]

So now he's a heretic, and the Pope needs to authorize the Inquisition to exterminate him.

 

[Jodell88]

He probably met Mary.

 

[lxskllr]

He probably met Mary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWijG9EWNjs

 

[Juan Savage]

God is neither male nor female, geniuses. He's a spirit.

 

[Ruptga]

God is neither male nor female, geniuses. He's a spirit.

That's for clearing that up. I was worried.

 

[Juan Savage]

No problem. Angels don't have sex either. Sex exists for procreation and spirits don't procreate.

You can read more about it here:

http://www.newadvent.com/cathen/06612a.htm

We use male pronouns and call him "father" as a metaphor.

 

[Ruptga]

I was actually shitting you, but you knew that.

Right?

 

[lxskllr]

I was actually shitting you, but you knew that.

Right?

If you see evidence of critical thinking skills, you're more intuitive... or something than me.

 

[Juan Savage]

I was actually shitting you, but you knew that.

Right?

Do you mean that you were pretending not to know or that you didn't know?

If it's the former, I'm sorry for not getting your joke. If it's the latter, you at least learned something about philosophy.

 

[Juan Savage]

By the way, if the cardinal said "of course God isn't a woman," then he probably meant that.

 

[Ruptga]

You're not the first guy to materialize out of the aether and try to educate all us heathens when a thread like this comes up, and you won't be the last. But you're not exactly the usual kind of internet evangelist, your first post was well over a year ago. Interestingly your first post happened at the same time you joined, and was in L&R, a forum that won't show up in a search engine because you have to be logged in to see it. My money's on you being a sock puppet and only feigning ignorance and naivete. Either that or you joined just to lurk, which isn't unheard of, but you haven't actually been lurking or you would have known I was mocking you from the get-go, which makes your timing here suspicious.

 

[SSSnail]

If angels don't have sex, then why does anyone wants to go to heaven? Seems like a boring ass place to me.

 

[ImpulsE69]

If angels don't have sex, then why does anyone wants to go to heaven? Seems like a boring ass place to me.

In heaven you are in a constant state of orgasm. In hell you are in a constant state of not quite an orgasm. :sneaky:

 

[KeithP]

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/femalegod.asp

-KeithP

 

[SSSnail]

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/femalegod.asp

-KeithP

"When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, let it be..."

Yup, that song has NOTHING to do with religion, either.

 

[Ruptga]

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/femalegod.asp

-KeithP

Dammit.

 

[Juan Savage]

You're not the first guy to materialize out of the aether and try to educate all us heathens when a thread like this comes up, and you won't be the last. But you're not exactly the usual kind of internet evangelist, your first post was well over a year ago. Interestingly your first post happened at the same time you joined, and was in L&R, a forum that won't show up in a search engine because you have to be logged in to see it. My money's on you being a sock puppet and only feigning ignorance and naivete. Either that or you joined just to lurk, which isn't unheard of, but you haven't actually been lurking or you would have known I was mocking you from the get-go, which makes your timing here suspicious.

Why are you mad?

 

[LucJoe]

Why are you mad?

And his true form is revealed.

 

[BurnItDwn]

There is no god, only zool.

 

[Juan Savage]

The article was about a Catholic priest and his bishop. Nobody seemed to know the Catholic position on God's sex so I decided to post it. Instead of thanks, I get hostility.

 

[Theb]

God is neither male nor female, geniuses. He's a spirit.

Suggesting that the omnipresent creator of all that is doesn't have a generously proportioned wiener and a pair of balls is utterly ridiculous!

 

[Juan Savage]

You shouldn't trust these anti-religious sites.

http://www.charismanews.com/world/48439-the-truth-about-the-priest-who-died-and-saw-god-as-a-woman

The viral story of a Catholic priest who reportedly died for 48 minutes, was resuscitated and now claims God is a woman, is most likely fake.

The story, which was initially picked up by the Daily Monitor, a Ugandan news site, was reportedly pulled from the satirical website, World News Daily Report.

Many news sites reported how Bostonian cleric Father John Michael O'Neal died for 48 minutes, journeyed to heaven and discovered God was a woman.

"Her presence was both overwhelming and comforting. She had a soft and soothing voice and her presence was as reassuring as a mother's embrace. The fact that God is a Holy Mother instead of a Holy Father doesn't disturb me, she is everything I hoped she would be and even more," the Inquistr reports the father as saying.

One problem: O'Neal may not exist, according to Archbishop of Boston spokesperson Terrence Donilon.

"We do not have a priest of this name," Donilon told Metro. "I believe this could be a hoax story."

Photos of "O'Neal" are stock photos.

 

[JTsyo]

God is neither male nor female, geniuses. He's a spirit.

Only 1/3, the other 2/3 are male.

If you die and are resurrected, you don't meet God. He knows if you're really dead or not, it's not like it's an automated process.

 

[SlowSpyder]

God is neither male nor female, geniuses. He's a spirit.

God is a male. A male with a very small penis. At least in the bible he sure acts like he has small dick syndrome.