A brief (less than 1 page) bit from a weekly writing assignment

[slackerinabox]

My media analysis course requires us to hand in weekly journal entries - free written and personal, they're not summaries but just talking points we feel like getting out. Here's my first assignment, I'm thinking my professor will HATE me after this...

Before I start my attempt to share my sophisticated and pointed commentary with you, I must take this moment to share a frustration of mine that digs far deeper than the frustration I feel when reading about the true nature of our "democracy." Microsoft Word 2007 is simply an abomination! As someone who fancies himself a fairly decent writer, I pride myself in my ability to adhere to the rules outlined in Diane Hackers' gripping guide. I live by her precious words, and hope to one day become a martyr for the cause of good grammar and proper MLB formatting. Unfortunately, Microsoft's latest gift to the world of academia and publishing has been "streamlined" to the point where simple formatting has become an exercise in futility. I want this paragraph to be justified properly! I want to change the font to the more professional Times New Roman! I want to be sure that everything is double-spaced but I, a guy who's worked at investment banks as a word processor, can't figure this damn program out! Sorry for venting, but I'll do my best to figure out this beast before the next assignment is due.

Now with that unpleasantness behind us, I think I'll pick up on a bit of irony I noted in Robert Putnam's "Bowling Alone: America's Declining Social Capital." Firstly, I hope to one day be esteemed enough to interview myself. Secondly, I look forward to the irony of a room full of apathetic college students discussing the decline of civic engagement and social responsibility. I've noticed this throughout my protracted experience here at Queens College: our professors do a wonderful job of instilling valuable social bravado into the hearts and minds of her students, and the students do a wonderful job of playing along, gamely continuing what I like to refer to as the "liberal circle-jerk."

Now, I'm a liberal. I will not hide behind a cloak of non-partisanship or pretend to be unbiased. I am biased, but I pride myself in earning my bias: being the child of conservative immigrants, my ideologies were garnered through study and life-experience, not passed down through Bob Dylan records. What I find ironic about this whole experience, this liberal circle-jerk, is that we will surely have that discussion - that discussion, inspired by articles that we have now read, tying our declining social awareness with the increased role of corporations in our governing. We will point out the dangers of our plutocracy, some using over-intellectualized notions practiced in front of a mirror before class, others in phrases more in-tune with our Queens College vernacular (including "yo, that shit's fucked up!"). We will all passionately embrace the notion that something is very wrong with these United States, until class dismisses.

The discussion will end, our iPods will tune into Akon or Eastern European pop music and our fingers will flutter to send abstract texts to our loved ones, but will we remember the discussion? Will we remember the passion we shared in for hours? Or will these important observations, these crucial facts? Will we expunge these from our psyche the moment we walk out of class, our newfound activism hushed by the desire to know who got voted off of Top Chef last night?

 

[FoBoT]

so, it's like a blog?

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
so, it's like a blog?

Nope, a "personal" journal - our personal thoughts while reading the article. Ungraded but required.

 

[slackerinabox]

Voting down? Grr, come on - it's kinda funny and well written! Oh, you guys are no fun.

 

[nakedfrog]

Liberal circle-jerks are my favorite kind!

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
My media analysis course requires us to hand in weekly journal entries - free written and personal, they're not summaries but just talking points we feel like getting out. Here's my first assignment, I'm thinking my professor will HATE me after this...

Before I start my attempt to share my sophisticated and pointed commentary with you, I must take this moment to share a frustration of mine that digs far deeper than the frustration I feel when reading about the true nature of our "democracy." Microsoft Word 2007 is simply an abomination! As someone who fancies himself a fairly decent writer, I pride myself in my ability to adhere to the rules outlined in Diane Hackers' gripping guide. I live by her precious words, and hope to one day become a martyr for the cause of good grammar and proper MLB formatting. Unfortunately, Microsoft's latest gift to the world of academia and publishing has been "streamlined" to the point where simple formatting has become an exercise in futility. I want this paragraph to be justified properly! I want to change the font to the more professional Times New Roman! I want to be sure that everything is double-spaced but I, a guy who's worked at investment banks as a word processor, can't figure this damn program out! Sorry for venting, but I'll do my best to figure out this beast before the next assignment is due.

Now with that unpleasantness behind us, I think I'll pick up on a bit of irony I noted in Robert Putnam's "Bowling Alone: America's Declining Social Capital." Firstly, I hope to one day be esteemed enough to interview myself. Secondly, I look forward to the irony of a room full of apathetic college students discussing the decline of civic engagement and social responsibility. I've noticed this throughout my protracted experience here at Queens College: our professors do a wonderful job of instilling valuable social bravado into the hearts and minds of her students, and the students do a wonderful job of playing along, gamely continuing what I like to refer to as the "liberal circle-jerk."

Now, I'm a liberal. I will not hide behind a cloak of non-partisanship or pretend to be unbiased. I am biased, but I pride myself in earning my bias: being the child of conservative immigrants, my ideologies were garnered through study and life-experience, not passed down through Bob Dylan records. What I find ironic about this whole experience, this liberal circle-jerk, is that we will surely have that discussion - that discussion, inspired by articles that we have now read, tying our declining social awareness with the increased role of corporations in our governing. We will point out the dangers of our plutocracy, some using over-intellectualized notions practiced in front of a mirror before class, others in phrases more in-tune with our Queens College vernacular (including "yo, that shit's fucked up!"). We will all passionately embrace the notion that something is very wrong with these United States, until class dismisses.

The discussion will end, our iPods will tune into Akon or Eastern European pop music and our fingers will flutter to send abstract texts to our loved ones, but will we remember the discussion? Will we remember the passion we shared in for hours? Or will these important observations, these crucial facts? Will we expunge these from our psyche the moment we walk out of class, our newfound activism hushed by the desire to know who got voted off of Top Chef last night?

you owe me 1/2hr of my life back!

 

[spaceghost21]

Originally posted by: JEDI

you owe me 1/2hr of my life back!

It took you half an hour to read that?

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: spaceghost21

Originally posted by: JEDI

you owe me 1/2hr of my life back!

It took you half an hour to read that?

Perhaps 3 minutes to read, followed by 27 minutes of uncontrollable vomiting?

 

[kinev]

Good point, but you sound sort of pretentious. Not trying to be mean, just giving you my first impression after reading it. Also, even if it's a "completion grade", I would never curse in anything that I'm turning in, but that's just me.

 

[torpid]

Ah yes, it's always good to write self-impressed know-it-all rants in college. Professors have rarely seen anyone do that sort of thing, so they are likely to be delighted by your wit and creativity.

 

[Kadarin]

It sounds like you're trying way, way too hard.

 

[nonameo]

calling your own commentary pointed and sophisticated sounds arrogant.

 

[elmro]

1) You must make friends easily. Not. (Borat)

2) All I see is "mental masturbation" from you, bashing your classmates. Where is the commentary on the article? If I was a professor (which I am obviously not), I would assume you didn't read the article.

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: nonameo
calling your own commentary pointed and sophisticated sounds arrogant.

That's the impression I got. Also, because I didn't know what you were going to write about, I stopped reading after a few ramblings about Office 2007, your goal to be a martyr for grammar, etc.

With your next assignment, try to be more on topic and keep the reader interested. Even though it's a personal journal, someone else is reading it, so that should be factored in.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: apac

Originally posted by: spaceghost21

Originally posted by: JEDI

you owe me 1/2hr of my life back!

It took you half an hour to read that?

Perhaps 3 minutes to read, followed by 27 minutes of uncontrollable vomiting?

"It may comfort you to know that Philip's death only took 15 seconds, yet the pain was so intense that it felt to him like 15 years. And it goes without saying that it caused him to empty his bowels."

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

Originally posted by: Kadarin
It sounds like you're trying way, way too hard.

That came to mind as well.

Instead of leading up to the issue, skip a lot of filler content. Start with the point about people discussing things in class, but then leaving and never remembering it again. Give reasons why this happens, and if it maybe only happens to a portion, maybe there's someone else in class besides you that notices it. Ask people why they do it, why they don't do it, etc. and figure it out.

I know this is a personal journal, but it hops around from one topic to another and the wording, especially near the end, makes me think you're trying way too hard.

 

[darkswordsman17]

Good one, did you stay up all night coming up with that?

Seriously though, you sound conceited and just seem intent on trying to get a rise out of your professor. You really don't offer any new insight, but rather seem to be trying to vulgarize (sorry but saying circle-jerk does not make it witty) something that is quite well known to anyone who has attended college in the last few decades. You basically seem to not even actually be saying anything, but stating the basic concept (that people only pretend to care) instead of offering any real reason why or anything beyond a general concept, which you spend too much time candying up.

Oh, and the entire first paragraph is completely pointless, nothing more than self promotion.

 

[TecHNooB]

Originally posted by: darkswordsman17
Good one, did you stay up all night coming up with that?

Seriously though, you sound conceited and just seem intent on trying to get a rise out of your professor. You really don't offer any new insight, but rather seem to be trying to vulgarize (sorry but saying circle-jerk does not make it witty) something that is quite well known to anyone who has attended college in the last few decades. You basically seem to not even actually be saying anything, but stating the basic concept (that people only pretend to care) instead of offering any real reason why or anything beyond a general concept, which you spend too much time candying up.

Oh, and the entire first paragraph is completely pointless, nothing more than self promotion.

^ THIS MAN SPEAKS TRUTH