heroin is a bitch...
great job on staying clean my friend, i've fought that battle too... it's not pretty, it's not fun, it IS the hardest thing i've ever done.... stopping that shit probably made me grow more psychologically than anything i've ever done as well...
i was an addict for about 5 years to IV opiates... started on vicoden 10's when i was ~17 or 18... moved to snorting oxycontins, then to IVing oxycontin/dilaudid/morphine/heroin... was in and out of the methadone clinic for the last 2 years or so of my addiction... that just made things worse... methadone clinics are like a drug dealer that's always there, that costs 10 bucks a day no matter how much dope you need, and will let you slide on payment for a few days if need be.... that + a true addict is a recipe for disaster.. i know some people actually do get stable on methadone, and very very few actually taper down and do the switch to suboxone and quit... but for me it took going to jail, it took my live in g/f and two kids leaving me to finally get it through my stupid head that that shit was doing nothing but destroying my life.. i was making good money (when i wasnt in withdrawal and to sick to get out of bed and actually work) and it was ALMOST ALL going to my opiate addiction...im talking like 700-800 bucks a week easy in my vein... at one point we even moved out of the 4 bed, 3 bath, house we lived in, in a country club, paid for.. and into a 2 bed/2 bath condo so that we could rent the house in the country club out for extra money to support my..and my ex's habit.... she never got addicted hardcore like i was... and she actually managed to quit, while i still used right there in front of her... i got locked up, she left and never looked back... we get along now... i doubt we'll ever be together again even though i am clean now and doing well financially.. it's just like, that's all we ever had... we made great junkie buddies..and the sex was amazing..and we never fought (unless of course we didnt have our fix) she just couldnt take it anymore... i dont blame her... i still love her of course, i dont think i'll ever stop... we just cant take the chance of going back to how we were..and im afraid both of us together will cause just that... i mean, it's all we knew... we knew how to get high together.. but yeah..enough of that..
good luck my friend, i hope the best for you...
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