- Oct 2, 2001
- 13,164
- 3
- 81
Reasons Why Chocolate is better than Sex
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with
chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind..
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being
called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of you workbench/desk during
working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find..
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep you neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter.
21) You don't have to take the whole thing into your mouth at once
22) It melts in your mouth, not in your hand
23) Eating chocolate alone won't grow hair on the palm of your hands.
24) Having chocolate in public won't get you arrested on morals charges
25) You don`t have to stop in the middle to put on a condom.
26) You can have chocolate with your partner in a house full of relatives and not worry about them walking in on you.
27) You can have chocolate with a young boy and not be called Michael Jackson.
28) You can have chocolate all weekend long and still walk straight on Monday.
29) With chocolate there's no need for a wrapper.
30) You can have chocolate in any size of room.
31) You can sell chocolate legally.
32) You can have AIDS and still have chocolate.
33) There are several different flavors of chocolate.
34) Don't feel guilty to have chocolate even if your girlfriend is not in the mood for it.
35) Chocolate can make sex better, but sex doesn't improve chocolate.
36) You don't have to wash your chocolate before eating it.
37) You can have more than one chocolate at the same time.
38) Chocolate doesn't complain if you don't eat it right.
39) Chocolate doesn't want to "talk about it" after you have it.
40) You don't have to tell chocolate how good it was afterwards
41) Chocolate doesn't mind if you want it during a football match on TV
42) Sex won't solve your desire for chocolate, but chocolate can solve your desire for sex !
43) You never have to worry about "safe chocolate"
44) Chocolate doesn't get cold feet.
45) You're not considered impolite if you offer someone chocolate in an elevator
46) You don't have to hug your chocolate for half an hour after having it.
47) You don't have to finish all the chocolate to feel satisfied.
48) You can take chocolate anywhere and pull it out whenever.
49) Chocolate won't get jealous if you have other chocolates.
50) You don't have to keep your chocolates from finding out about each other!
51) Chocolate won't ask if you love it, before letting you have it.
52) With chocolate, no one has to lay in the 'wet spot'.
53) Most people can figure out which hole the chocolate goes into.
54) People won't think you a tramp, if you have lots of different chocolate.
55) Chocolate doesn't charge you by the hour
56) You don't have to ask your chocolate if it was good - you know it was for you and who cares about anybody else
57) It's just as good even when you're awkward and inexperienced
58) Nobody ever wakes you up in the middle of the night asking you for it.
59) You're almost always in the mood.
60) When you're not in the mood, you don't have to feel guilty or make lame excuses
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with
chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind..
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being
called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of you workbench/desk during
working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find..
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep you neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter.
21) You don't have to take the whole thing into your mouth at once
22) It melts in your mouth, not in your hand
23) Eating chocolate alone won't grow hair on the palm of your hands.
24) Having chocolate in public won't get you arrested on morals charges
25) You don`t have to stop in the middle to put on a condom.
26) You can have chocolate with your partner in a house full of relatives and not worry about them walking in on you.
27) You can have chocolate with a young boy and not be called Michael Jackson.
28) You can have chocolate all weekend long and still walk straight on Monday.
29) With chocolate there's no need for a wrapper.
30) You can have chocolate in any size of room.
31) You can sell chocolate legally.
32) You can have AIDS and still have chocolate.
33) There are several different flavors of chocolate.
34) Don't feel guilty to have chocolate even if your girlfriend is not in the mood for it.
35) Chocolate can make sex better, but sex doesn't improve chocolate.
36) You don't have to wash your chocolate before eating it.
37) You can have more than one chocolate at the same time.
38) Chocolate doesn't complain if you don't eat it right.
39) Chocolate doesn't want to "talk about it" after you have it.
40) You don't have to tell chocolate how good it was afterwards
41) Chocolate doesn't mind if you want it during a football match on TV
42) Sex won't solve your desire for chocolate, but chocolate can solve your desire for sex !
43) You never have to worry about "safe chocolate"
44) Chocolate doesn't get cold feet.
45) You're not considered impolite if you offer someone chocolate in an elevator
46) You don't have to hug your chocolate for half an hour after having it.
47) You don't have to finish all the chocolate to feel satisfied.
48) You can take chocolate anywhere and pull it out whenever.
49) Chocolate won't get jealous if you have other chocolates.
50) You don't have to keep your chocolates from finding out about each other!
51) Chocolate won't ask if you love it, before letting you have it.
52) With chocolate, no one has to lay in the 'wet spot'.
53) Most people can figure out which hole the chocolate goes into.
54) People won't think you a tramp, if you have lots of different chocolate.
55) Chocolate doesn't charge you by the hour
56) You don't have to ask your chocolate if it was good - you know it was for you and who cares about anybody else
57) It's just as good even when you're awkward and inexperienced
58) Nobody ever wakes you up in the middle of the night asking you for it.
59) You're almost always in the mood.
60) When you're not in the mood, you don't have to feel guilty or make lame excuses
