40 Things you would never hear a Redneck say

shiner

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
17,112
1
0
Top 40 Things You Would Never Hear a Redneck Say, Not
ever, no matter how much they've had to drink. Not
never. Not no how. And always remember this, rednecks
were born all over the world not just in the South.

40. Oh I just couldn't, hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup. It's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the SuperBowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college football team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight
 

DesignDawg

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,919
0
0
Yep. Pretty funny (while old), but actually, the one about being registered at Tiffany's couldn't be farther from the truth. Those 'neck women want their double-wide to be the CLASSIEST DAMN DUBBLEWAD THIS HERE SIDE OF TH MISSISSIP.

Ricky
DesignDawg
 

Pretender

Banned
Mar 14, 2000
7,192
0
0


<< 33. You can't feed that to the dog. >>

You're wrong. What about &quot;You can't feed that to the dog, I'm hungry&quot;?