34 days without getting intimate with myself

[Mayne]

How long has anyone gone? I do notice my dreams are getting really weird..weirder than normal..but no nocturnal emissions yet

You can be funny, but keep it clean, boyz.

Perknose
Forum Director

 

[pete6032]

I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean by "getting intimate with myself." Thanks.

 

[Perknose]

I do notice my dreams are getting really weird..weirder than normal...

That's a truly scary thought! Look on the bright side, though . . . lower laundry bills!

 

[Greenman]

That's a truly scary thought! Look on the bright side, though . . . lower laundry bills!

You're assuming he does laundry.

 

[Exterous]

You're assuming he does laundry.

"Why do you keep buying so many socks?!"

 

[highland145]

"Why do you keep buying so many socks?!"

When you're a puppet...

 

[ultimatebob]

Wow... this post is weird even by Mayne standards.

 

[Jon-T]

So far I have gone 19,500+ days without getting intimate with Mayne

 

[JEDIYoda]

Do you sleep with a vacuum cleaner???

 

[jhansman]

Stroking your joke is NOT intimacy. Whatever else it may be, it ain't that. Intimacy involves at least one other person, at least in my book. For me, it's been years.....

 

[JEDIYoda]

Stroking your joke is NOT intimacy. Whatever else it may be, it ain't that. Intimacy involves at least one other person, at least in my book. For me, it's been years.....

Or a goat??

 

[Perknose]

Wow... this post is weird even by Mayne standards.

In terms of weirdness, you might say it's the ultimate, bob.

 

[JPS35]

The question is, "Are you still master of your domain?"

 

[BoomerD]

Or a goat??

Oh baaa-aaa-aaaby...

 

[Mai72]

How long has anyone gone? I do notice my dreams are getting really weird..weirder than normal..but no nocturnal emissions yet

You can be funny, but keep it clean, boyz.

Perknose
Forum Director

Is this dirty talk? 😡😡😡

 

[snoopy7548]

At first it was like 13 years, but after that it was like a day.

 

[jhansman]

Or a goat??

NO! NO GOATS! Adult people are for intimacy, not blow up dolls, fleshlights, or any other masturbatory accessory. Ya wanna rub one out? Have a ball, but don't confuse that with interpersonal congress.

 

[MtnMan]

Why?

 

[randay]

I always wondered what it would be like to be so ugly even your own hand wont fuck you...

 

[Jaskalas]

I sincerely doubt any of us have the teenage level of hormones needed for what you are trying to achieve.

Also, are you aware of the reduced risk of prostate cancer via frequent "use" of it?

 

[snoopy7548]

Mayne, have you tried setting the mood? Light some candles, pour a glass of wine, and put on some Sade or Kenny G.

 

[sportage]

So.... either your vacuum broke, or you ran out of batteries, or your arm and hand stopped communicating with each other, or if you were really talented you became tongue tied.

 

[WelshBloke]

See, I'm choosing to read to OP as that Mayne has got a girlfriend/boyfriend and settled down in a steady relationship and is getting fulfilled that way instead of on his own.

It's nice to create your own little reality bubble sometimes!