30-second toaster: I need this!

[MichaelD]

I need a 30-second toaster. When I'm hungry and want toast, I want it now, dammit. Three minutes is entirely too long to wait for toast. Plus, once the toast pops up, it gets cold quickly. Toast must be buttered immediately upon exiting the toaster.

When you're waiting and waiting for it to pop up, you get disgusted and walk away. Then when it pops up, you're not there to immediately butter it. When you come back, it's cold already.

We need a 30-second toaster, dammit!!!

ps
I like my toast dark brown; not burnt, but dark. That's why it takes three minutes.

 

[KLin]

use a blowtorch.

 

[MichaelD]

Fine then. When I invent it, KLin will get a preproduction sample. The rest of you will get didly.

 

[Orsorum]

I'd support it.

 

[bradruth]

"It'll deep fry a buffalo in 45 seconds."

"45 seconds!? But I want it NOW!"

 

[ActuaryTm]

"The new MichaelD 2000xi: for all your toasting emergencies."

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: ActuaryTm
"The new MichaelD 2000xi: for all your toasting emergencies."

"Now you're not the only one who comes quickly."

 

[PowerMac4Ever]

I considered making something like this, but I calculated R&D costs to be in excess of $100,000 to build such a machine. It's just not possible for me at this point..

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: ActuaryTm
"The new MichaelD 2000xi: for all your toasting emergencies."

"Now you're not the only one who comes quickly."

:Q

Heh. Funny.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: ActuaryTm
"The new MichaelD 2000xi: for all your toasting emergencies."

"Now you're not the only one who comes quickly."

:Q

Heh. Funny.

It's not really funny... I just wanted to work it into my conversation at some point today.

 

[thomsbrain]

Originally posted by: PowerMac4Ever
I considered making something like this, but I calculated R&D costs to be in excess of $100,000 to build such a machine. It's just not possible for me at this point..

and that's just the catering costs for the lunch-time progress meetings.

 

[RagingBITCH]

Cliffnotes: I'm an impatient fvck who is bitching about a toaster.

😛

 

[zixxer]

michaeld i think i love you

 

[HappyPuppy]

I am disappointed with you, MichaelD. I have always held you in the highest regard because you appeared to be a man of patience and understanding. My faith in you has been altered by this thread, perhaps forever.

The way you have trivialized the art of anticipation in this thread belies your facade of maturity and reveals the child you hide within you. I have been falsely lead to believe that it was only the pimple farmers on OT who were without patience, but you, an old geezer, have opened the Pandora's Box for all the senile old fvcks to now start complaining about the laws of physics.

May God help you, because Satan surely has a prewarmed niche in his abode awaiting your arrival. 😉

 

[Adul]

Originally posted by: MichaelD

Originally posted by: Orsorum

Originally posted by: ActuaryTm
"The new MichaelD 2000xi: for all your toasting emergencies."

"Now you're not the only one who comes quickly."

:Q

Heh. Funny.

😀

 

[sharkeeper]

In order to get things "done" in that short amount of time requires considerably more energy input. We tried this and the results speak for themselves.

Unless you like eating carbonised foodstuffs, it appears that you're gonna have to wait. Good things come to those who wait, remember. That should be ATi's new jingle! 😛

Cheers!

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
I am disappointed with you, MichaelD. I have always held you in the highest regard because you appeared to be a man of patience and understanding. My faith in you has been altered by this thread, perhaps forever.

The way you have trivialized the art of anticipation in this thread belies your facade of maturity and reveals the child you hide within you. I have been falsely lead to believe that it was only the pimple farmers on OT who were without patience, but you, an old geezer, have opened the Pandora's Box for all the senile old fvcks to now start complaining about the laws of physics.

May God help you, because Satan surely has a prewarmed niche in his abode awaiting your arrival. 😉

:Q Oh man...I'm gonna buuuuurn. :evil: *much pitchfork poking* Hahahahah! So, my niche is prewarmed, eh? Damn, I always had a feeling...


Yeah, that carbonization coating doesn't look all that appetizing...but still, 180 seconds is too damn long to wait for a piece of toast. I will come up with something...will also probably wind up carbonizing myself like Han Solo, but hey, it's all in the interest of science!

 

[Savarak]

i bet if you speed up rollers on the toaster ovens at Potbelly's(or the lesser but more nationally known similar type of resturant Quizno's), you can get a nice brown toast in 30 secs

 

[bleeb]

Originally posted by: KLin
use a blowtorch.

 

[milagro]

Exactly why are you in such a hurry to get your toast? You honestly can't spare the extra 2.5 minutes? Are you really that busy/pressed for time?

 

[habib89]

i actually like my toast a little cooled down.. i dont' really like my butter melted.. just slightly warmed, but still kinda in that solidified state.. yumm.. i might have to make soem toast now