3 stolen jokes.... some offensive

[MikeMike]

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was probably just another false alarm and stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shlt out of a ghost."





******************

Q: What do cinder blocks and 300 lb women have in common?
A: They both get laid by Mexicans.

Q: What do women and condoms have in common?
A: If they aren't on your dick, they are in your wallet!

 

[imported_LoKe]

LMFAO at #1 and #3!

 

[sash1]

lol

 

[iwantanewcomputer]

good...but do mexicans like large ladies now?

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: iwantanewcomputer
good...but do mexicans like large ladies now?

Mexican women used to be called names like Yveta, Olivia, Raquel, etc. Now they are called Blimpieta, Elefanta, and Piguera.

 

[jadinolf]

tiptoes away

 

[ViviTheMage]

I like number one

 

[Mrvile]

I thought they were all pretty good. Maybe I'm tired.

 

[MikeMike]

morning bump

 

[theprodigalrebel]

LMFAO
First one was awesome!!!
Second one was awesome (though I didn't Mexicans like big-ass chicks)
Third one is an internet-joke-site-meme.

 

[jimbob200521]

#2 rules!! :laugh:

 

[Dualist]

The first one gave me a good laugh!!! :laugh:

 

[Svnla]

Chuckle at #1

 

[CKent]

meh/10

 

[Scarpozzi]

#1....funny, has potential. 6/10
#2....funny....7/10
#3....Heard it long ago, but it gets an 8/10

 

[waggy]

hmm only see one joke where are the other 2? im going to sue for false advertising!

 

[YOyoYOhowsDAjello]

Originally posted by: waggy
hmm only see one joke where are the other 2? im going to sue for false advertising!

Originally posted by: MIKEMIKE
#1 An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was probably just another false alarm and stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shlt out of a ghost."





******************

#2
Q: What do cinder blocks and 300 lb women have in common?
A: They both get laid by Mexicans.

#3
Q: What do women and condoms have in common?
A: If they aren't on your dick, they are in your wallet!

 

[DefDC]

LOL! I used to be a fountain of jokes... Maybe I need to have a coupla drinks to start the ole joke engine...