1. Whats the difference between a blimp and 365 used condems?
Ones a goodyear ones a great year
2. A kid turn 17 and wants a prostitute but his dad says he isnt allowed to have one until he turns 18 and practices his moves. So his dad goes out back drills a hole in a tree, lubes it up and tells his to practice with that. The kid works at it for few months and finally its his 18th birthday and his pops gets his a prostitue. She walks in and says she has to get ready. 5 min later she is out on his bed with nothing at all and lays there spread eagle. The kid then says hold up i got to grab something. After waiting a minute the prostitute shreaks and looks up to find the kid sticking a broom handle into her punanny. She exclaims what the hell you doing!!! The kid replies, "Checking for squirls"
3. The redeemmer!
A guy walks in a bar with a parrot on his sholder and sits at the bar. The bartender says that a fine looking parrot whats his name. The man replies "Chet". The bartender says does it speak? The amn goes it sings christmas songs. So the man goes in his pocket grabs a lighter, sparks it and puts it under its wing. The bird starts singing, "jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way" Jesus exclaims the bartender. The bartender in disbelif says do it again. The man again lights the light and puts it under a wing. The bird starts again, "dashin through the sno in a one horse open slay ....." Wow. The bartender grabs the light from the man and says i gotta try this. He lights the lighter and puts it under the birds ballz. The bird shreaks and starts singing, "Chets nuts roasting on an open fire."
Ones a goodyear ones a great year
2. A kid turn 17 and wants a prostitute but his dad says he isnt allowed to have one until he turns 18 and practices his moves. So his dad goes out back drills a hole in a tree, lubes it up and tells his to practice with that. The kid works at it for few months and finally its his 18th birthday and his pops gets his a prostitue. She walks in and says she has to get ready. 5 min later she is out on his bed with nothing at all and lays there spread eagle. The kid then says hold up i got to grab something. After waiting a minute the prostitute shreaks and looks up to find the kid sticking a broom handle into her punanny. She exclaims what the hell you doing!!! The kid replies, "Checking for squirls"
3. The redeemmer!
A guy walks in a bar with a parrot on his sholder and sits at the bar. The bartender says that a fine looking parrot whats his name. The man replies "Chet". The bartender says does it speak? The amn goes it sings christmas songs. So the man goes in his pocket grabs a lighter, sparks it and puts it under its wing. The bird starts singing, "jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way" Jesus exclaims the bartender. The bartender in disbelif says do it again. The man again lights the light and puts it under a wing. The bird starts again, "dashin through the sno in a one horse open slay ....." Wow. The bartender grabs the light from the man and says i gotta try this. He lights the lighter and puts it under the birds ballz. The bird shreaks and starts singing, "Chets nuts roasting on an open fire."
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