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some people just like to bitch. let her blow off steam, don't try to be a fixer upper
 
Originally posted by: gersson
A good friend that I hoped would soon be my gf has recently turned to mostly complaining about her mom, work, etc.

When I first met her we had a lot of fun dates and I found her to be very funny and agreeable. She can't seem to shake it off...

Obviously this sucks. I want to know how I can help her either see what she's doing or help her get through a rut. BTW, by recent I mean the last month...
How should I approach the issue? I'd get pics but I don't want to give myself away.
>_>
<_<
Please no flames 😛
Click to expand...

like...omg....like....thats just horrible....like you should totally just like tell her how you feel and stuff...like for reals girl....like you = teh bitchiness otay? And then she will be like otay for real, sex?


I think I have seen one out of 10,000 YAGT that was worth a damn, yet they never cease to entertain me, and for that I tip my hat to you Mr. CompleteTotalLackOfAnythingClosetToASocialSkill Man. 😀

 
Once a nagger/complainer always a nagger/complainer. Of all things to try to change, that has got to be one of the most difficult if not impossible things to change.

I'm sorry that your relationship didn't work out. But at least you found out now before investing a lot of yourself into her.
 
24 -_-

Just asking. It's not like I'm not going to be able to ultimately resolve the problem myself. I'm the kind of person that likes input before I pull the trigger.
Reason I ask is I don't want to get too attached (more?) to someone who will end up making me miserable.

Have you thought of ways to keep her mouth busy with other things?
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Hmmm good tip! lol
 
Man up and tell her the way you feel. Make sure you have room to talk, and just let her know she should fix her problems instead of whining about them. If she thinks about it and takes it to heart, then she's worth it. If she bitches about your advice, breeze her.
 
Originally posted by: scott916
Man up and tell her the way you feel. Make sure you have room to talk, and just let her know she should fix her problems instead of whining about them. If she thinks about it and takes it to heart, then she's worth it. If she bitches about your advice, breeze her.
Click to expand...

That's definitely the issue. Now tips on how to tell her and it being clear that I care about her...
 
Originally posted by: HN
some people just like to bitch. let her blow off steam, don't try to be a fixer upper
Click to expand...

Yup.

Best thing you can do is listen. If you can't do that, then maybe she isn't right for you. If you guys are very close, as in, you can be totally honest/frank with the other person, then it is acceptable to just tell her in a subtle way that maybe she needs to figure out how she can be at peace with all those issues. But not many people have such open honest relationships, which is sad in its own right, but a reality of human life.

**EDIT**
By the way, you could suggest to her that replaying the issues in her mind over again will only hurt her and make her think negatively about her life. Suggest ways that will benefit her instead of making it an affront against her character.

For instance, you could say that it is clear that she is not at peace with her situation. Tell her you think that focusing on the negative is only hurting herself, and then tell her some of the positive things you have seen in her life. (how she has many close friends...) Then suggest something that you two can do together to get her minds off the worries she has. Tell her you and her should do yoga together or something like that. She may appreciate it.
 
After reading your thread title, I clicked the link. I was not going to read your post. I was just going to point out:

Pics or ban!

But then, like a sucker, I read the post. So here's some actual feedback:

Nagger/complainers rarely stop being that way. Move on. Other fish, sea, etc., etc., etc.
 
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: HN
some people just like to bitch. let her blow off steam, don't try to be a fixer upper
Click to expand...

Yup.

Best thing you can do is listen. If you can't do that, then maybe she isn't right for you. If you guys are very close, as in, you can be totally honest/frank with the other person, then it is acceptable to just tell her in a subtle way that maybe she needs to figure out how she can be at peace with all those issues. But not many people have such open honest relationships, which is sad in its own right, but a reality of human life.
Click to expand...

I've been told that I am a good listener... and what I've heard is often troubling 😛
But you are right. I will just let her let it all out and will give her my suggestion. Hopefully she will decide to stay more positive. I hope it works out well...she's really cute (again, sorry no pics)
 
Stick your Pocky stick in her mouth. That'll give you some quiet time 😛

No but seriously - if she complains now she will get *no better* in the long run. None whatsoever. Maybe she's just confiding in you, but if all she does is whine now, you're in for the worst later.
 
if she complains now she will get *no better* in the long run. None whatsoever. Maybe she's just confiding in you, but if all she does is whine now, you're in for the worst later.
Click to expand...

That's the biggest reason why I had been worried 🙁
 
Originally posted by: gersson
A good friend that I hoped would soon be my gf has recently turned to mostly complaining about her mom, work, etc.

When I first met her we had a lot of fun dates and I found her to be very funny and agreeable. She can't seem to shake it off...

Obviously this sucks. I want to know how I can help her either see what she's doing or help her get through a rut. BTW, by recent I mean the last month...
How should I approach the issue? I'd get pics but I don't want to give myself away.
>_>
<_<
Please no flames 😛
Click to expand...

She just wants someone to listen to her while she vents. Trying to fix things for her or saying things won't help - just let her vent. It'll make her feel better by the time she finishes.
 
Originally posted by: ariafrost
Originally posted by: gersson
A good friend that I hoped would soon be my gf has recently turned to mostly complaining about her mom, work, etc.

When I first met her we had a lot of fun dates and I found her to be very funny and agreeable. She can't seem to shake it off...

Obviously this sucks. I want to know how I can help her either see what she's doing or help her get through a rut. BTW, by recent I mean the last month...
How should I approach the issue? I'd get pics but I don't want to give myself away.
>_>
<_<
Please no flames 😛
Click to expand...

She just wants someone to listen to her while she vents. Trying to fix things for her or saying things won't help - just let her vent. It'll make her feel better by the time she finishes.
Click to expand...

This has been my current strategy with very little results. It's the easiest one but I guess it may be time to strike this one off the list 😛 thanks anyway 🙂
 
Originally posted by: RagingBITCH
Stick your Pocky stick in her mouth. That'll give you some quiet time 😛

No but seriously - if she complains now she will get *no better* in the long run. None whatsoever. Maybe she's just confiding in you, but if all she does is whine now, you're in for the worst later.
Click to expand...

Of course, if she's not willing, well, teeth can be quite an effective deterrent.
 
Originally posted by: 6StringSamurai
Originally posted by: gersson
A good friend that I hoped would soon be my gf has recently turned to mostly complaining about her mom, work, etc.

When I first met her we had a lot of fun dates and I found her to be very funny and agreeable. She can't seem to shake it off...

Obviously this sucks. I want to know how I can help her either see what she's doing or help her get through a rut. BTW, by recent I mean the last month...
How should I approach the issue? I'd get pics but I don't want to give myself away.
>_>
<_<
Please no flames 😛
Click to expand...

like...omg....like....thats just horrible....like you should totally just like tell her how you feel and stuff...like for reals girl....like you = teh bitchiness otay? And then she will be like otay for real, sex?


I think I have seen one out of 10,000 YAGT that was worth a damn, yet they never cease to entertain me, and for that I tip my hat to you Mr. CompleteTotalLackOfAnythingClosetToASocialSkill Man. 😀
Click to expand...

nevermind don't want to get into it.
 
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