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10- "I am NOT ! I am Nick Nolte!"

9- "Eh..? Nope, no here."

8- "Wait! I AM a Cubs fan, REALLY!! I didnt mean to catch that ball!!"

7- "I am Osama...errrr, that would be worse, never mind."

6- "I was having the crappiest dream..."

5- " My mini-me was the one that ran Iraq! I was a prisoner!"

4- "$750K cash? If I am Saddam, would I be living in a dirt hole with that much jack?"

3- "I am Baghdad Bob!"

2- "I am Alec Baldwin!! Not Saddam. See, I promised to leave the US if Bush got elected soooo here I am! A man of my word."

and Number 1:
" You had no warrant to search my hole! My civil rights have been trampled! I was abused as a child! Where is the ACLU? Im gonna suuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeee you people!!!!!"