one way or the other, laws need to get passed.
if civil unions are supposed to be equal to marriages, an insurance company shouldn't be able to deny a gay woman's wife coverage because they're civil union'd and not married (this happens in NJ currently)... likewise, even if you're in a state where gay marriage is legal, federal marriage benefits don't apply thanks to DOMA (I couldn't, for example, marry the Korean guy I'm dating and get him a green card, but a straight guy is free to get a green card for any girl he buys from Russia)