Search results

  1. T

    best weapon to survive the apocalypse?

    9 volt battery drinking straw paperclip stick of gum with my crazy McGuyver skills, I'd build a rail gun.
  2. T

    What were you like in kindergarten?

    I was a lot shorter then.
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    Mega Meeeeeeeellions up to $355MM. Time to pay the stupid tax!

    Lottery is for suckers. I'm getting my money from my friend at the Nigerian Petroleum Bank. I've paid most of the fees, now I just need to take care of customs currency export fee, and watch the cash start rolling in. I can get you in on this great opportunity also. Just send me your personal...
  4. T

    Joke

    Two Amish women are working in the field digging potatoes. The first woman holds up a potato and says 'This reminds me of my husbands cock.' The second woman asks 'because it's so big?' 'No' says the first, 'because it's dirty.'
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    Arizona or Ohio - where would you rather live?

    when you are cold, you can always put more clothes on. when you are hot, you can only take so many off before you get arrested.
  6. T

    Birthday Present ideas for my dad (recently had a bad accident)

    what? nobody is going to say it?... Hookers and Blow
  7. T

    what's a good present for someone who just had a baby girl?

    vicodin and rum. they will thank you for it later.
  8. T

    Worst movie you've seen at the theatre?

    any movie with 2, 3, 4, or tokyo drift in the title.
  9. T

    Who is PF Chang?

    They once told me how great the new ride at the amusement park was, I trusted them, and then I puked. They also listen to rap music, and wear really ugly shoes. I don't have much faith in their opinions
  10. T

    Who is PF Chang?

    thanks, I know its a restaurant. I'm curious why my kids are so bat-shit crazy about this place I'd never heard of until two weeks ago.
  11. T

    My wife and I think too dirty...

    maybe you date flat chick?
  12. T

    Who is PF Chang?

    Is there something special about this place?
  13. T

    My wife and I think too dirty...

    I traded it for cigarettes in prison
  14. T

    My wife and I think too dirty...

    i once stole the innocence of a four year old
  15. T

    Old fan falls over railling at Cards/Pirates game

    the next day the kid said "hey dad, can we stop at the ballpark on the way to the emergency room again tonight?"
  16. T

    I have a blind date tonight

    maybe she just wasn't that into you
  17. T

    MLB trade deadline

    Pittsburgh Pirates FTL
  18. T

    Who is your Daddy?

    A Terminator. A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101. Part man, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyper-alloy combat chassis - micro processor-controlled, fully armored. Very tough. But outside, it's living human tissue - flesh, skin, hair, blood, grown for the cyborgs. He can't be bargained with...
  19. T

    My god is better than your god

    http://friendlyatheist.com/200...ds-we-dont-believe-in/ short list of gods
  20. T

    Your most expensive non-essential habits?

    Michael Jackson collector plates! they will be worth a fortune some day.
  21. T

    If you had $1000 extra/month to invest...

    Hookers and Crack. If you can't have a good time with hookers and crack, you just don't know how to have a good time. Or you could donate it all to the church...mansions in heaven and all that.
  22. T

    Now it's about to get scary - Wife's business really about to take off

    why do they call it cheesecake...it's a pie damnit!
  23. T

    Acid? Post your experiences, and knowledge about it

    One summer while following the Grateful Dead on tour, I set the goal of eating a book of LSD. 100 hits on a sheet, 10 sheets in a book...what was I talking about?
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    Have you ever walked out on a movie before?

    3000 Miles to Graceland I was so scarred that I won't watch anything with Kurt Russell, with the exception of Grindhouse/Death Proof, and that is only because Rosario Dawson, Zoe Bell, and Tracie Thoms beat him to death at the end.
  25. T

    y2j(Chris Jericho) hits a girl IRL

    I told my mom wrestling REAL! now I have the proof. Nick Hogan gonna' lay the smack down on ya' with his Toyota.
  26. T

    A Russian highway

    so that is where PennDOT engineers got their training!
  27. T

    Calling all Astronomy Geeks

    try http://www.heavens-above.com you can pick a location on the map, then check whole sky chart. it lets you set time and date, and will show locations of planets, constellations and stars. another cool feature is that it will tell when the space station fly over your location, and where to...