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  1. DangerAardvark

    Bulletstorm ending AKA the worst case of blue balls in the galaxy

    I'd give a spoiler warning, but to borrow from this game's stupid vernacular: "the story ain't for shit". Not only do you not get to kill the man who's been taunting you nonstop for the last 3rd of the game, but you also never get to bang the mouthy chick in the tank top. But there's another...
  2. DangerAardvark

    Last WEC event ends in one of the greatest highlight reel clips ever

    Fuck it, repost. Screw you Woosta.
  3. DangerAardvark

    John Legend + The Roots live right now.

    http://www.youtube.com/johnlegendvevo?feature=ticker God damnit, black people are cool.
  4. DangerAardvark

    Uh-oh. Dana White picked a fight with the internet.

    LINK When asked to comment, the internet responded: "lol." In other news, in 2009 the UFC broke the industry record for yearly PPV sales by $100 million... a record they already held.
  5. DangerAardvark

    Picked up some nicotine gum while in line at Walmart

    Never smoked in my life. It tingles! It also feels fucking weird when you swallow saliva. You're supposed to chew it then hold it between your cheek and gums but it feels like it's giving me mouth cancer.
  6. DangerAardvark

    Shiny new Dexter thread

    So season 4's turning out to be a bit of a rehash. Deborah still has her relationship drama that no one cares about. Dexter is still having issues resolving his family life with serial killing hobby. Harry still pops in and glows obnoxiously. And we have yet another serial killer for Dexter...
  7. DangerAardvark

    Help me identify this music...

    Text That rustling in the background is the umm... activity.
  8. DangerAardvark

    See if this doesn't enrage you

    P&T's BS: Lie Detectors. The part I'm referring to is the segment with the couple and baldy. I yelled at my TV. The full video's on Google Video and is well worth watching. I wish they'd have gone into "countermeasures" and how Polygraphers claim to be able to detect them a little...
  9. DangerAardvark

    The anatomy behind a dick punch.

    Owowowow.
  10. DangerAardvark

    Milk consistently going sour 3-5 days before the listed expiration date.

    Is this Big Milk trying to shave a few pennies per gallon off their overhead?
  11. DangerAardvark

    Transparent-headed fish.

    I think I can see its brain.
  12. DangerAardvark

    I wish ghosts were real...

    Ghost Adventures Sure he'd be dead, but hey at least his death via ghost attack would do ten times more to prove paranormal phenomena than his ridiculous TV show.
  13. DangerAardvark

    The Grammys

    John Mayer, for best male vocal? Really? He should win a Grammy for most nondescript, non-threatening, non-performance of the year. It just sucks that he does have some decent songs, but the only ones that win any awards are the fucking terrible ones. There was one tense moment though...
  14. DangerAardvark

    Why do Vampires hate Werewolves?

    Pakistan against India, Israel against Palestine, Shiite against Sunni and Vampire against Werewolf. Why don't these supernatural creatures get along? They both like to kill people. They both hate the Jews. By all rights, this ancient rivalry should have been put to rest long ago.
  15. DangerAardvark

    Hawaii legislators trying to ban skinny cigarettes.

    http://news.aol.com/story?id=n20090129221109990008 Sexism - check Absolution of personal responsibility - check Hand-holding, feel-good, do-nothing law-making - check
  16. DangerAardvark

    "Rest In Peace" is such a weird saying...

    ...because it implies the alternative is to haunt the Earth as a vengeful poltergeist. You might as well say "try not to come back as a zombie".
  17. DangerAardvark

    Tim Minchin

    Tim Minchin. Weird haircut though.
  18. DangerAardvark

    The Onion Movie

    It's pretty much the best film ever. It had everything: Rodney Dangerfield, Peruvians, Steven Seagal, tits, that dude from Super troopers, erections, and also tits. Trailer, for the uninformed.
  19. DangerAardvark

    Magazine conspiracy

    Why is it that every time I pause at a news stand and pick up a copy of Shape magazine, because damnit, Faith hills abs look downright lickable, and I rifle through the pages and cannot EVER find the feature article. The inserts they put in there are strategically spaced to make it impossible...
  20. DangerAardvark

    Does torture work?

    I was re-reading 1984 and got to the horrific torture sequences and this made me question my take on torture. One of the most common arguments that opponents of torture cite is that it doesn't work, i.e., "if I take a Bunsen burner to the guy's genitals, he's going to tell you just about...
  21. DangerAardvark

    A nuclear reactor in every backyard?

    http://blogs.zdnet.com/emergingtech/?p=1089 God, I want one. Each one of these can power 20,000 homes. I's obviously designed for large operations and complexes, but imagine the possibilities when and if they can be scaled down even further. You're completely independent from the power...
  22. DangerAardvark

    The _____ called. They want their _____ back.

    The GOP called. They want their pant-suits back. For the love of God stop using this joke.
  23. DangerAardvark

    Inside Rock Music by Vance Ferrell

    A crazy lady on a bike gave me this book. It's basically about how rock music is teh devil. Here are some real gems. The great Rock and Roll conspiracy: Well, at least he shares my contempt for Christian rock. So what's good music? Here are some guidelines: He even goes so far as...
  24. DangerAardvark

    What video is this?

    There's like 2 Indie music snobs in line for a concert and their conversation involves increasingly obscure musical genres. I think it's a sketch from a comedy show.
  25. DangerAardvark

    So who has a genuine, legit copy of Photoshop? w/poll

    It's clear that everyone on the internet has Photoshop. How many of those copies are legit? One, maybe two?
  26. DangerAardvark

    UFC 89: Clash of the Lames

    I wonder if Good Eats is on...
  27. DangerAardvark

    OMG

    How have I never seen these movies? I have a knife, now gimme ur money! Fuck you, I have a gun. And fuck your friend too. I'm stealin' this car stereo. Oh yeah? Let's just see what my gun has to say about this. Death Wish = 90 minutes of "fuck you, I have a gun". Netflix'd.
  28. DangerAardvark

    Biologists, jealous of the LHC, strike back by building the GAS

    Text Fuck protons, we're colliding bears up in this bitch.
  29. DangerAardvark

    Replacing CMOS battery in laptop

    I have an Inspiron 1525 and the error seems to be caused by a dead CMOS battery. The error occurs before I can even access the BIOS setup. So I've bought the new battery, but here's the problem:Text As you can see, the instructions on the Dell website for replacing the CMOS battery...
  30. DangerAardvark

    The worst show on television...

    House of Payne. I dare you to watch this with a gun in the house.. It's like watching retards do improv, except with worse acting. There is not a single thing good about this show. Every actor on the show has the same acting style: stutter and stall as you scramble to remember your...
  31. DangerAardvark

    Massive police raids on suspected protestors in Minneapolis

    Text So they raided malnourished groups of hippies who were conspiring to commit peaceful acts of free speech? What were they so afraid of? I know for a fact that I could kill 10 or 12 hippies before the smell overwhelmed me. Added for context: Link to website of one of the "RNC...
  32. DangerAardvark

    If you could ask 2-head girl one question...

    So I'm watching the two-head girll on TLC and I've got a million questions. But of course, the documentary only covers banal crap. My question: Who's in charge of shitting?
  33. DangerAardvark

    Do you get an immediate "buzz" from alcohol?

    Like right after the first swallow, which is well before very much if any could possibly enter your bloodstream. I think it's like reflexive salivation. Classical conditioning FTW.
  34. DangerAardvark

    Placebo Effect

    So you sell a magnetized bracelet and say it relieves carpal tunnel pain. A significant portion of purchasers report less pain after using it. You've essentially taken their gullibility and sold it back to them. Of course, calling them "stupidity bracelets" might have an impact on sales...
  35. DangerAardvark

    Laser Acupuncture

    So my I talked to my sister after a check-up with her doctor and she tells me that he referred her to some doctor who recommended "laser acupuncture" for weight-loss. So I know acupuncture is pretty much placebo effect, but add "laser" to that and my bullshit meter peaks. So whatever...
  36. DangerAardvark

    Shirtless running...

    Maybe it's just me, but the concept of traveling miles away from my home on foot enrobed in nothing but a pair of short shorts seems somewhat bizarre. I appreciate that you're comfortable with your body, but as soon as the shirtless runner stops running, the odds turn rather sharply in favor of...
  37. DangerAardvark

    Hellgate London

    Seriously, in DX10 mode they look worse than the original Half-Life. In DX9 they have a little more detail but are still low-res. The thing is, I genuinely can't tell if it's supposed to look like this or not by looking at screenshots. Bug?
  38. DangerAardvark

    The Dana Carvey Show

    Top Ten new titles for Princess Di Skinheads from Maine I just watched the first episode on Netflix Watch Instantly. I was 12 when it first premiered and forgot how great it was. Didn't know Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell and Robert Smigel were in the show along with Bob Odenkirk and...
  39. DangerAardvark

    The most stunningly simple optical illusion I've ever seen.

    Text It's a fairly famous one. Squares A and B are the same color. I literally CAN'T see them as the same color. This thing is so absurdly naked that it borders on a hallucination. The brain is a weird thing.