Recent content by tomfoolery08

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    best weapon to survive the apocalypse?

    9 volt battery drinking straw paperclip stick of gum with my crazy McGuyver skills, I'd build a rail gun.
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    What were you like in kindergarten?

    I was a lot shorter then.
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    Mega Meeeeeeeellions up to $355MM. Time to pay the stupid tax!

    Lottery is for suckers. I'm getting my money from my friend at the Nigerian Petroleum Bank. I've paid most of the fees, now I just need to take care of customs currency export fee, and watch the cash start rolling in. I can get you in on this great opportunity also. Just send me your personal...
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    Joke

    Two Amish women are working in the field digging potatoes. The first woman holds up a potato and says 'This reminds me of my husbands cock.' The second woman asks 'because it's so big?' 'No' says the first, 'because it's dirty.'
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    Arizona or Ohio - where would you rather live?

    when you are cold, you can always put more clothes on. when you are hot, you can only take so many off before you get arrested.
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    Birthday Present ideas for my dad (recently had a bad accident)

    what? nobody is going to say it?... Hookers and Blow
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    what's a good present for someone who just had a baby girl?

    vicodin and rum. they will thank you for it later.
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    Worst movie you've seen at the theatre?

    any movie with 2, 3, 4, or tokyo drift in the title.
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    Who is PF Chang?

    They once told me how great the new ride at the amusement park was, I trusted them, and then I puked. They also listen to rap music, and wear really ugly shoes. I don't have much faith in their opinions
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    Who is PF Chang?

    thanks, I know its a restaurant. I'm curious why my kids are so bat-shit crazy about this place I'd never heard of until two weeks ago.
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    My wife and I think too dirty...

    maybe you date flat chick?
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    Who is PF Chang?

    Is there something special about this place?
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    My wife and I think too dirty...

    I traded it for cigarettes in prison
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    My wife and I think too dirty...

    i once stole the innocence of a four year old