Maybe soms sort of virus is blocking updates. That also explaines why windows crashed when trying to install a virusscanner. Some virusses can detect that you are running a anti-virus tool and block this by fucking up your windows installation (i.e. deleting system essential files).
The...
my only advice is: backup all important data and format your harddrive... Or at least try to run a web based virus scanner like http://housecall.trendmicro.com/ to see what virus it was.
I think it's seriously f*cked up by some virus or spyware.....
also don't install virus scanners...
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