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Old 08-07-2012, 03:35 PM   #1
JoLLyRoGer
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Default I need $1,000,000.00 in 30 days......No, seriously...

We found out last week one of my wife's life-long friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic cancer. It started in her colon they believe and has spread to her lungs, liver, uterus, and pelvic bones. She's 37, has two beautiful daughters who are 16 and 14 and wants desperately to fight this in any way possible.

It seems after a ton of research her best shot is through Cancer Treatment Centers of America. Unfortunately her insurance isn't accepted there and for a self pay it's $250,000.00 plus an additional $50,000 just to get started. Total treatment cost is approx 1 Million.

So basically, I need a million dollars. And not because I'm some kid from New York that made a clever youtube video just asking for it out of the blue...

I need to know how to approach this, who to start asking. Are there sites set up where people donate to causes like this.

There are a lot of millionaires in this country who donate large sums of money to charitable causes just so they can use it as a tax shelter. Why can't our friend get some of that money to literally save her life for her family and children.

I don't know why I'm posting this here... just trying to beat every bush I know.

This is her facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/tamiha

And this is a donation site my wife and I set up for her through facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TamiHartEmerickCancerFund

Thanks,
-Adam
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:37 PM   #2
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Kickstarer?
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:39 PM   #3
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at the first paragraph...

Hate to say it, but at this point I'd probably put any donations toward ensuring the future of those kids.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:39 PM   #4
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Adam, may I ask why she isn't seeking treatment at a facility that her insurance is accepted?
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:40 PM   #5
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Reddit AMA, with a kickstarter account, sometimes you will be bashed for coming out and basically flat out asking, but it's worth a shot.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:43 PM   #6
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This is a much more worthy cause than the Octomom BS. I'd donate.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:44 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkxshade View Post
at the first paragraph...

Hate to say it, but at this point I'd probably put any donations toward ensuring the future of those kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corporate Thug View Post
Adam, may I ask why she isn't seeking treatment at a facility that her insurance is accepted?
Both of these.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:44 PM   #8
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I honestly wish you luck with that, but if it were me I'd check myself into someplace that insurance does cover and set my affairs in order. You might get lucky and find enough donors, but that is a shitton of money and with her already in stage 4 her odds are pretty bad no matter what.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:46 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Corporate Thug View Post
Adam, may I ask why she isn't seeking treatment at a facility that her insurance is accepted?
Oh no no no, don't get me wrong. It's not like she's refusing treatment where she's at. All the people close to her have been on the march interviewing all of the places available (including some very highly ranked cancer centers). But their insurance is HMO so it's limited to where she can go. If they had a PPO it would be a non-issue but his company can't get it switched for him.

Beyond that, it just seems like CTCA in Arizona has the best approach for her. Its a matter of giving her the best shot possible given the long odds she already faces.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:48 PM   #10
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I guess my only question is..."Why do YOU need one million dollars?"

Perhaps your wife's friend does...but why is it your job to deal with this for her?

If it was your wife, I could understand.

BTW, FUCK CANCER...it's not bad enough that it makes you sick and kills you, it also makes people spend every fucking dime they have chasing a cure...they get chemo, radiation, take pills, have what little life they have degraded severely, spend months sick as hell from the treatment...and in the end, they still die from cancer.

With only a few exceptions, once you're diagnosed with cancer...you're gonna die from cancer...especially if it's metastasized...that is a death sentence.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:50 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darkxshade View Post
at the first paragraph...

Hate to say it, but at this point I'd probably put any donations toward ensuring the future of those kids.
Yes. Stage 4 colon cancer has an 8-15% 5-year survival rate. Enjoying her family and ensuring their future with the time she has left is more sensible than going bankrupt trying to chase the long odds IMHO.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:55 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by BoomerD View Post
I guess my only question is..."Why do YOU need one million dollars?"

Perhaps your wife's friend does...but why is it your job to deal with this for her?

If it was your wife, I could understand.

BTW, FUCK CANCER...it's not bad enough that it makes you sick and kills you, it also makes people spend every fucking dime they have chasing a cure...they get chemo, radiation, take pills, have what little life they have degraded severely, spend months sick as hell from the treatment...and in the end, they still die from cancer.

With only a few exceptions, once you're diagnosed with cancer...you're gonna die from cancer...especially if it's metastasized...that is a death sentence.
You wanna split hairs with me?.. Go right ahead. Me, Myself, and I don't need one red cent. I'm trying to figure this out for her here so to hell with the semantics. And it becomes part my problem when it's my wife's best friend.. They grew up together and are as close as any blood sisters you've ever met.

And yes, FUCK CANCER... it's a terrible thing. However, my own grandmother survived late stage Leukemia and has been some 18 years in remission. Doc's gave her 6 months so I've seen long odds pay off before.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:57 PM   #13
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If "bear love good cancer bad" can get $220,000 this should be able to get a good amount...
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:58 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Adam, may I ask why she isn't seeking treatment at a facility that her insurance is accepted?
QFT...I am hoping this isn't one of the deals the person is looking to profit.

I was reading things like ChipIn and the like make it very easy to become a fake charity / need and just get money.

I am very curious why there is no facility that she would be covered at in the country.
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Old 08-07-2012, 03:59 PM   #15
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at the first paragraph...

Hate to say it, but at this point I'd probably put any donations toward ensuring the future of those kids.
Sadly, I must agree.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:01 PM   #16
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Insurance pulled this shit on my Mom in law's liver. They bent and did the transplant but they tried to hold the family hostage for 900k.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:01 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoLLyRoGer View Post
Oh no no no, don't get me wrong. It's not like she's refusing treatment where she's at. All the people close to her have been on the march interviewing all of the places available (including some very highly ranked cancer centers). But their insurance is HMO so it's limited to where she can go. If they had a PPO it would be a non-issue but his company can't get it switched for him.

Beyond that, it just seems like CTCA in Arizona has the best approach for her. Its a matter of giving her the best shot possible given the long odds she already faces.
Under open enrollment laws, they should be able to switch to a PPO within the year at some point. That may be their best bet.

Also when hospitals quote costs, they are quoting them the full price. Insurance companies do not pay this rate and most people paying their own way don't either. She should get a negotiated rate together and shoot for that.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:01 PM   #18
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Reddit AMA, with a kickstarter account, sometimes you will be bashed for coming out and basically flat out asking, but it's worth a shot.
I'm trying to wrap my head around what you're saying here. Posting this on Reddit Ask Me Anything? Then tying in a kickstart account to it?
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:02 PM   #19
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My condolence to the family. IMHO, it is time to prepare for the inevitable instead of prolonging the pain, because the cancer is on the move and has spread to so many locations. It seems as if pinpointing, contain, and treatment is beyond possible and feasible.

<--- father died of cancer when I was 19.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:03 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alkemyst View Post
QFT...I am hoping this isn't one of the deals the person is looking to profit.

I was reading things like ChipIn and the like make it very easy to become a fake charity / need and just get money.

I am very curious why there is no facility that she would be covered at in the country.
The person(s) is/are chasing a cure. They are in severe denial and believe if they can go to xyz place the person will be cured.

The likelihood of being cured is extremely low at this point. The likelihood of having a shitty last 6 months to a year is high.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:06 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alkemyst View Post
QFT...I am hoping this isn't one of the deals the person is looking to profit.

I was reading things like ChipIn and the like make it very easy to become a fake charity / need and just get money.

I am very curious why there is no facility that she would be covered at in the country.
You're getting it all wrong. I did not say there is no where in the country. On the contrary there are several options for her, some better than others... This is about getting the best.

And while I can appreciate the implication, rest assured I'm not that guy. Fuck the assholes who take advantage of good will and scam others. They're all gonna burn in hell. Unfortunately it has just happened way to may times to way too many good people - myself included so that as well as being a Gen-Xer myself I can relate to the skepticism.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:09 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoLLyRoGer View Post
I'm trying to wrap my head around what you're saying here. Posting this on Reddit Ask Me Anything? Then tying in a kickstart account to it?
Yeah post an AMA on reddit and get her to talk about it and stuff, she will need to take some real time to answer questions for people though, if it gains interest that is. I would advise setting up a kickstarter campaign to allow people to donate there, kickstarter is an established company and a lot of people already have account, at least redditors. Post a link to the kickstarter in the original AMA or at least in the comments, I might not mention the donations at FIRST because then people see it is a plea for money. Not always what you want. You will also need proof (pictures of username, proof of condition, etc.) Prepare for questions like, how much time is left, do you regret anything, Do your kids understand what's going on, what is your husband going to do... basic stuff.

That's what I would try to set up anyway.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:11 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Wreckem View Post
The person(s) is/are chasing a cure. They are in severe denial and believe if they can go to xyz place the person will be cured.

The likelihood of being cured is extremely low at this point. The likelihood of having a shitty last 6 months to a year is high.
Maybe this is all true, maybe it's denial, maybe it's desperation... Chasing long odds, being unrealistic... But she wants to fight this thing and has the heart of a lion to do so, so I mean, you can't just roll over and give up.

I know if I were in her shoes and if I had any kind of chance, I'd take it.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:17 PM   #24
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Yeah post an AMA on reddit and get her to talk about it and stuff, she will need to take some real time to answer questions for people though, if it gains interest that is. I would advise setting up a kickstarter campaign to allow people to donate there, kickstarter is an established company and a lot of people already have account, at least redditors. Post a link to the kickstarter in the original AMA or at least in the comments, I might not mention the donations at FIRST because then people see it is a plea for money. Not always what you want. You will also need proof (pictures of username, proof of condition, etc.) Prepare for questions like, how much time is left, do you regret anything, Do your kids understand what's going on, what is your husband going to do... basic stuff.

That's what I would try to set up anyway.
Yeah, that's all good advise. I wish Tam had more access to answer stuff herself. We gave her over the Administrator role of the donation site on FB, but neither her nor her husband have had time to deal with it between running tests, waiting on results, deciding what to do next, visitors coming and going, and she's basically cut off from the Internet while she's in that hospital.

It just sucks. If nothing else it's good to talk it over - even with strangers on the Internet. I've been under a ton of stress over all this and my wife can't hardly discuss it with me. I gotta be her rock - she feels like she has to rescue Tami from this some how. And we just found all this out in the past week.

What a scenario. I guess everybody's got problems but shit, at some point we're all still human.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:20 PM   #25
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OP, explore treatment options in other countries. I wouldn't be surprised if its an order-of-magnitude cheaper. Might be worth a shot if nothing comes up in US.
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