I applaud the effort to educate the OP [80 different ways, i kid, i kid]but it really does not matter what analogy he or you or anyone else likes or dislikes, the simple fact is this is the way it works: they charge you, throttle you, or cut you off, if you cannot control your bandwidth consumption to the way you agreed, even if you did not know you agreed. And that's the bottom line. finite, or infinite, its controlled by them, and your accessing their network, they limit you as they see fit, deal with it. Most of the isp's that have no caps are that way becasue the service is so slow you would not reach any feasible cap they set. EQ sprint 3g [at least until they finish that horrid LTE upgrade] no cap, 415ms ping times and 0.28/.027 Mb/s speeds, but no cap. Have at it for $60/month or whatever they charge.
Your only hope is to move into a FIOS or google fiber area soon, last I knew neither of them have a cap for the moment though I think FIOS is considering it strongly. They are on a big no upgrade and no build out kick right now to save investment capitol, for quarterly reports and all. Still the last thing officially said is
Read the TOS to be sure though.
With that, can the nerd rage go away? This is one of the few places you can find an intelligible conversation about things, don't start useneting it up with terms like "captain obvious" directed at people. Agree to disagree, but this is not 9th grade anymore.