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01-09-2013, 01:23 AM
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#1
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 5,087
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Just found out my coworker called in sick today because he hurt himself with his...
fleshlight. I said bullshit, but they said he was dead serious. I'm thinking that's too crazy to even make up
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unus botulus per foramen
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01-09-2013, 01:55 AM
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#2
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,927
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MOAR LUBE! STAT!
...why on earth would you even admit to that?
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I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if anyone thinks differently they will promptly be crushed.
The World Needs a Reset Button.
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01-09-2013, 02:14 AM
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#3
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jan 2000
Posts: 4,874
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did his dick got stuck in the fleshlight? Does the fleshlight comes in asian fit like oakley sunglasses?
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««Heroes Are Ordinary Men»»
««Who Do Extraordinary Things»»
««In Extraordinary Times»»
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01-09-2013, 04:02 AM
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#4
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Lifer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 21,198
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Doh, DIY fleshlight? Used old rusty cast iron pipe instead of PVC, and it broke? He's going to die.
__________________
~Red Squirrel~
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. Romans 10:9-10
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01-09-2013, 04:08 AM
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#5
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 5,087
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my coworker who took the call (female) said he used one that was too tight fitting and he hurt himself when he tried to fap too hard...wtf. Still can't believe he would tell her that
She asked him why he would use one of those when he has a girlfriend, his reply was he wanted something quick and his girlfriend wasnt home...
__________________
unus botulus per foramen
Last edited by brainhulk; 01-09-2013 at 04:13 AM.
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01-09-2013, 04:57 AM
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#6
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Woodbridge, VA
Posts: 5,080
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How did he get hurt, isn't the thing soft?
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Main: Intel i5 3570K | MSI Z77A-G45 | Patriot Gamer 2 Series 8GB | MSI Twin Frozr III 7950 | Corsair H80 | CORSAIR Enthusiast Series TX650 | Antec 1200
HTPC: In Progress
NAS: In Progress
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01-09-2013, 05:36 AM
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#7
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 33,942
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SheHateMe
How did he get hurt, isn't the thing soft?
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Not when you stick it in the fleshlight. 
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University of Kentucky Wildcats!
Go Big Blue...Go Big Blue...Go Big Blue!!!
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01-09-2013, 05:52 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 470
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I suspect it was a thinly veiled dick-size brag. A female coworker picks up the phone so he "captializes" on the opportunity.
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01-09-2013, 06:30 AM
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#9
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
Posts: 6,538
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Your coworker hey
What line of "work" are you guys in anyway?
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Intel Core i5 2500K @ 4200, MSI P67A-G43 (B3) P67 ATX LGA1155, Mushkin Enhanced Silverline Stiletto 8GB 2X4GB PC3-10666 DDR3-1333 9-9-9-24 Dual Channel Memory Kit, 5450 Radeon 500M X 2, ST3500 Seagate 600W OCZ GameXtream, Windows 7 HP 64 Bit, Samsung Syncmaster Audio password Audio
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01-09-2013, 06:34 AM
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#10
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Lifer
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Eastern NC
Posts: 19,048
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maybe he wanted to BS for an off day and has a good sense of humor?
or maybe he has the clap and has to see a doc.
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01-09-2013, 06:49 AM
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#11
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Golden Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,956
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I call bs lol
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01-09-2013, 07:38 AM
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#12
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No Lifer
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 58,710
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ok. say it's real and happened to you. Who would admit such a thing!?
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Zombie Crew member! I WILL SURVIVE!
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01-09-2013, 07:43 AM
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#13
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 6,027
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I'm so glad I don't need a reason to take time off as often as I have caused myself to be sick from drinking.
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We Have Met The Enemy and He Is Us
ASUS p8z77 v, i7 3770k, crucial Ballistix Sport 16GB, XFX HD7970 Black Edition
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01-09-2013, 07:44 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hickory
Posts: 617
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Lolol
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01-09-2013, 07:50 AM
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#15
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 9,304
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so this will get documented right?
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01-09-2013, 07:57 AM
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#16
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 5,087
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PottedMeat
so this will get documented right?
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We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
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unus botulus per foramen
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01-09-2013, 08:04 AM
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#17
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Golden Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brainhulk
We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
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Where the hell do you work. Someone would get fired here for doing something like that
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01-09-2013, 08:05 AM
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#18
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No Lifer
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Northern IL
Posts: 58,710
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brainhulk
We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
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that's a good way for the business to get sued actually.
__________________
Zombie Crew member! I WILL SURVIVE!
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01-09-2013, 08:07 AM
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#19
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: SoCal
Posts: 5,087
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sze5003
Where the hell do you work. Someone would get fired here for doing something like that
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why would i get fired, i was writing down the truth. but just mispelled fleshlight
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unus botulus per foramen
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01-09-2013, 08:32 AM
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#20
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Platinum Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Jersey
Posts: 2,317
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Incoming sexual harassment lawsuit. The guy who called out sick is lucky.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brainhulk
why would i get fired, i was writing down the truth. but just mispelled fleshlight
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If I tell a female coworker she looked damn hot in that dress today, I am telling the truth too but I'd still get in trouble for sexual harassment.
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01-09-2013, 08:35 AM
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#21
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,192
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Engineer
Not when you stick it in the fleshlight. |
lol, nice 
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01-09-2013, 08:42 AM
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#22
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Diamond Member
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,631
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waggy
ok. say it's real and happened to you. Who would admit such a thing!?
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This. I've never understood why some people feel like they have to go into ANY detail.
Me: "Won't be in."
OR, if I'm feeling especially generous, "Won't be in. Sick."
Other people, though, feel the need to describe the color and texture of their phlegm, the consistency of their excrement and/or the color/shape/smell of their wound.
Seriously - quit oversharing. You won't be in - it's not the end of the world.
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01-09-2013, 08:45 AM
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#23
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Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kaliforniastan
Posts: 44,158
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I had a co-worker call in sick because she hurt her back wiggling on the bed trying to get into her jeans.
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01-09-2013, 10:16 AM
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#24
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Lifer
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Flushing, NY
Posts: 17,319
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I call bs too. Why would he admit to that?
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01-09-2013, 10:20 AM
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#25
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Golden Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,956
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I hate how my pm or manager asks why I'm off after I say I'm not feeling too good or I'm sick today. Then its followed by just work from home if you can.
__________________
Asrock Extreme3 Gen3| Core i5 2500k | 8GB Corsair Vengence 1600 | 1TB Seagate 7200 rpm | 256GB Samsung 830 |Saphire VaporX 7970Ghz 3GB | NZXT Phantom 410 | 750W Corsair Enthusiast
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