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Old 01-09-2013, 02:23 AM   #1
brainhulk
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Default Just found out my coworker called in sick today because he hurt himself with his...

fleshlight. I said bullshit, but they said he was dead serious. I'm thinking that's too crazy to even make up

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Old 01-09-2013, 02:55 AM   #2
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MOAR LUBE! STAT!



...why on earth would you even admit to that?
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:14 AM   #3
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did his dick got stuck in the fleshlight? Does the fleshlight comes in asian fit like oakley sunglasses?
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:02 AM   #4
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Doh, DIY fleshlight? Used old rusty cast iron pipe instead of PVC, and it broke? He's going to die.
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Old 01-09-2013, 05:08 AM   #5
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my coworker who took the call (female) said he used one that was too tight fitting and he hurt himself when he tried to fap too hard...wtf. Still can't believe he would tell her that

She asked him why he would use one of those when he has a girlfriend, his reply was he wanted something quick and his girlfriend wasnt home...

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Old 01-09-2013, 05:57 AM   #6
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How did he get hurt, isn't the thing soft?
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:36 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SheHateMe View Post
How did he get hurt, isn't the thing soft?
Not when you stick it in the fleshlight.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:52 AM   #8
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I suspect it was a thinly veiled dick-size brag. A female coworker picks up the phone so he "captializes" on the opportunity.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:30 AM   #9
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Your coworker hey

What line of "work" are you guys in anyway?
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:34 AM   #10
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maybe he wanted to BS for an off day and has a good sense of humor?
or maybe he has the clap and has to see a doc.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:49 AM   #11
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I call bs lol
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:38 AM   #12
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ok. say it's real and happened to you. Who would admit such a thing!?
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:43 AM   #13
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I'm so glad I don't need a reason to take time off as often as I have caused myself to be sick from drinking.
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:44 AM   #14
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Lolol
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:50 AM   #15
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so this will get documented right?
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Old 01-09-2013, 08:57 AM   #16
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Quote:
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so this will get documented right?
We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:04 AM   #17
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Quote:
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We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
Where the hell do you work. Someone would get fired here for doing something like that
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:05 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brainhulk View Post
We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
that's a good way for the business to get sued actually.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:07 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sze5003 View Post
Where the hell do you work. Someone would get fired here for doing something like that
why would i get fired, i was writing down the truth. but just mispelled fleshlight
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:32 AM   #20
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Incoming sexual harassment lawsuit. The guy who called out sick is lucky.


Quote:
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why would i get fired, i was writing down the truth. but just mispelled fleshlight
If I tell a female coworker she looked damn hot in that dress today, I am telling the truth too but I'd still get in trouble for sexual harassment.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:35 AM   #21
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Quote:
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Not when you stick it in the fleshlight.
lol, nice
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:42 AM   #22
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Quote:
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ok. say it's real and happened to you. Who would admit such a thing!?
This. I've never understood why some people feel like they have to go into ANY detail.

Me: "Won't be in."

OR, if I'm feeling especially generous, "Won't be in. Sick."

Other people, though, feel the need to describe the color and texture of their phlegm, the consistency of their excrement and/or the color/shape/smell of their wound.

Seriously - quit oversharing. You won't be in - it's not the end of the world.
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:45 AM   #23
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I had a co-worker call in sick because she hurt her back wiggling on the bed trying to get into her jeans.
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:16 AM   #24
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I call bs too. Why would he admit to that?
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:20 AM   #25
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I hate how my pm or manager asks why I'm off after I say I'm not feeling too good or I'm sick today. Then its followed by just work from home if you can.
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