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Old 12-02-2012, 10:35 PM   #1
z0mb13
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Unhappy Ex-coworker hanged himself

Just heard news that an ex coworker hanged himself in his rented apartment room!

Was extremely shocked to hear this. I only worked with him for like 3 months (he joined the company 3 months prior to my arrival, and left about 3 months after I joined). He sat directly in front of me, and I always tried to initiate small talk with him but he was always very reserved (answered in two or three word sentences).

He left our company middle of this year, and just heard that he was working for a consulting company (like Mckinsey, but second tier) while he hanged himself

So shocked and sad to hear this, Even though I didnt know him that well, he had plenty promise: in his mid 30s, graduated from UC Berkeley MBA program that he entered via a fullbright full scholarship. The news article about his suicide said that he was a loner, only playing with the dog at the apartment complex that he stayed at. His parents are not from the city but from a smaller city about 1 hour plane ride away.

I guess he was extremely depressed, and maybe felt like a failure. I am sure his "loner" mentality added to this feeling.

Note to everyone: before you even contemplate of killing yourself, for gods sake TALK TO SOMEONE! get counselling or just talk to your family! I am very sure that your live is MUCH more valuable than you think it is! you really need to get perspective from an outsider how valuable your life is....
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:39 PM   #2
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Wow that is really sad. Sorry to hear. I really can't imagine what has to go through someone's mind to actually go ahead with suicide. It's one thing to contemplate it, but to actually follow through... And yet it happens quite a lot these days.

Even when it's someone you don't know very well it's always a shock to hear something like this.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:41 PM   #3
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Was partially expecting the suicide stemmed from being ex-coworker because of being fired or something.
You don't know what pushed him to do it & "help" may not have resolved his issues.
I wish I wasn't too chicken shit to do the same.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:45 PM   #4
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No the guy was not fired, he resigned on his own. I didn't work with him extensively but I heard he actually did his job quite well. Maybe the pressure got to him? Our work can sometimes be very stressing
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:53 PM   #5
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Could be a murder. Not hard to overpower someone and hang them.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:54 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaDiZTiKStyLeZ View Post
Was partially expecting the suicide stemmed from being ex-coworker because of being fired or something.
You don't know what pushed him to do it & "help" may not have resolved his issues.
I wish I wasn't too chicken shit to do the same.
Calling police.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:55 PM   #7
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Coworker killed himself earlier this year. I talked to him a few times. Everyone else thought he was mentally unstable -- guess they were right.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:57 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nerp View Post
Could be a murder. Not hard to overpower someone and hang them.
There is possibility but highly unlikely. He is not the type that would have enemies. Think of a loner that doesnt have much social interaction.
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:25 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imp View Post
Coworker killed himself earlier this year. I talked to him a few times. Everyone else thought he was mentally unstable -- guess they were right.
Well the problem/uniqueness of this one is because we couldn't tell that he was mentally unstable at all. We thought that he was only a very quiet individual...
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Old 12-03-2012, 07:32 AM   #10
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Well, from a utilitaristic stand point, is it really good to talk about your deep troubles to someone else? Personally, those deep existential issues, which push you ever closer to the precipice - they don't go away by talking about them. In fact, they get worse, the more time you spend contemplating them.
The functional amongst us repress the feelings that drive us into that bottomless pit. That doesn't mean that with little provocation they return. But why become a burden on society with your troubles, when you can deal with them yourself? If you can never meet the standards you expect from life, why bother talking to someone about it? Your standards may be "wrong", but if that's what you hold youself to, and you can't do it, then why live a life of pain and dejection?

Who is more selfish: ther person killing themselves, or us, expecting them to suffer through every day, so we can feel a little better about ourself and not be faced with the darkness that lurks in the shadows of the human mind?
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:02 AM   #11
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I think most people really do not know what it is like to be "the loner type". Isolation is one of the worst things a human being, who is born to thrive off of emotion and creativity, can experience. I hope that everyone in this forum, and the people in your lives, never have to live that life.
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:10 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imp View Post
Coworker killed himself earlier this year. I talked to him a few times. Everyone else thought he was mentally unstable -- guess they were right.
I worked with a guy about my age for a year or so who hung himself. Totally out of the blue. I believe it stemmed from a breakup with his girlfriend, but he seemed completely normal the entire time I knew him - not in the least depressed or overly emotional. Not a loner and was a good worker. You just never know. It was a huge shock.

Sorry to hear OP
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:13 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pr0d1gy View Post
I think most people really do not know what it is like to be "the loner type". Isolation is one of the worst things a human being, who is born to thrive off of emotion and creativity, can experience. I hope that everyone in this forum, and the people in your lives, never have to live that life.
I agree, I think isolation is one of the worst things for human beings. Growing up, I always wondered why people stayed in relationships with people they hated, but it turns out it's worse to be alone than it is to be with someone you don't like. Funny how that works. And they throw prisoners in solitary confinement to really punish them. I think that's why stuff like forums, gaming communities (Xbox Live, etc.), Twitter, Facebook, Second Life, etc. are so popular - people need to feel that connection with other people, even if they're doing it anonymously & virtually.
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:28 AM   #14
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That sucks. Wonder why he did it.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:05 AM   #15
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That sucks. Wonder why he did it.
Usually they feel trapped for one reason or another and see no way out.
Why continue the suffer for nothing
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:05 AM   #16
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This may sound like a stupid question, but you said all he did was stay at his place with the dog. What happened to the dog? Maybe it died, which hits most of us pretty hard anyway but might hit him especially hard when it's your only companion.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:06 AM   #17
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That sucks. Condolences to his family and friends..

A co-worker of ours here killed himself a couple years ago. Just a couple days before Christmas. He seemed normal. Friendly, talkative, good at what he did. Wasn't a loner or shy or anything. Obviously we don't know everything about his personal life, but as far as we knew, he was happily married with kids. Apparently he went for a drive, stopped at his favorite park, and slit his own throat.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:11 AM   #18
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one of my childhood best friends hung himself from the ceiling fan almost 3 years ago. didn't see him a lot after HS but every time i did we caught up and he was the same guy i've always known. the thursday before he did it i saw him at the local pub and went outside for a toke with him. same josh i've always known. fast forward a week later i ran into him at 11pm at the same pub. same conversations, never picked up on what he would do after he left. 3 hours later his roommate found him hanging from the ceiling fan.

never saw it coming, not sure what you were dealing with but rip bud. same goes to the OP.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:42 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaido View Post
I agree, I think isolation is one of the worst things for human beings. Growing up, I always wondered why people stayed in relationships with people they hated, but it turns out it's worse to be alone than it is to be with someone you don't like. Funny how that works. And they throw prisoners in solitary confinement to really punish them. I think that's why stuff like forums, gaming communities (Xbox Live, etc.), Twitter, Facebook, Second Life, etc. are so popular - people need to feel that connection with other people, even if they're doing it anonymously & virtually.
No, it's really not. Being alone isn't the same as being lonely.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:48 AM   #20
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*hung
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:48 AM   #21
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I kinda envy people who have the balls to kill themselves.
I would never have that strenght.

Anyway, RIP.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:56 AM   #22
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Damn, that sucks... RIP..
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:21 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Rick_ View Post
Well, from a utilitaristic stand point, is it really good to talk about your deep troubles to someone else? Personally, those deep existential issues, which push you ever closer to the precipice - they don't go away by talking about them. In fact, they get worse, the more time you spend contemplating them.
The functional amongst us repress the feelings that drive us into that bottomless pit. That doesn't mean that with little provocation they return. But why become a burden on society with your troubles, when you can deal with them yourself? If you can never meet the standards you expect from life, why bother talking to someone about it? Your standards may be "wrong", but if that's what you hold youself to, and you can't do it, then why live a life of pain and dejection?

Who is more selfish: ther person killing themselves, or us, expecting them to suffer through every day, so we can feel a little better about ourself and not be faced with the darkness that lurks in the shadows of the human mind?
My point about talking to someone is to get another perspective on your current problem. This guy had amazing promise! He just needed to put things in perspective IMO.
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:43 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kache View Post
I kinda envy people who have the balls to kill themselves.
I would never have that strenght.

Anyway, RIP.
IMO killing urself is easy. Having the courage to face your problems is the true bravery.
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Old 12-03-2012, 08:46 PM   #25
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